Cal was doing everything in his power to stop Lucy from leaving. The intimate dinner he’d organized for them to share had been over for an hour, but still they had continued to talk and laugh, reveling in each other’s company.
Although he couldn’t be certain, Cal was beginning to believe that he’d broken through those internal walls Lucy had held intact to keep herself at a distance from him. She’d let them reminisce on fond topics from their shared past, she’d openly discussed her life now and even let them talk of their friendship during secondary school. It finally felt as though he was making headway, inching closer to the friendship that he had so sorely missed for nearly half his life and getting ever closer to the loving relationship he wished to build with her.
When Cal had discussed his plans with Julia that morning and then confirmed them later that day, having already arranged for all the necessities Lucy could desire to be brought and displayed within her room, he’d never expected things to move so smoothly. In fact, when he’d made the arrangements for them to stay overnight at the Cardinal Winery, he had completely believed Lucy would fight him on the decision, even going so far as to call a taxi to come and take her home. But she hadn’t fought him and she’d accepted all he’d planned without so much as a complaint.
It had Cal wondering whether, somewhere hidden inside her, somewhere Lucy wouldn’t let him see, there was a part of her that wanted this as much as he did, a part of her that wanted them to be as close as they once had been, maybe even closer than before. That thought had everything inside him hoping and praying that he would end his plight, that he would convince Lucy of his love for her, and that she would complete him and agree to be his other half for the rest of their lives.
But first he had to get her to stay. He didn’t want to seduce her, didn’t need them to sleep together. Not right now, anyway. He might have longed to hold her close to him, desired to touch and kiss her in all the intimate places he’d dreamed about, thrust into her, and finally feel what it was like to be at home inside her—but all of that could wait. No, tonight was about rekindling that flame. They needed to stay up all night talking the way they used to, they needed to share everything, immerse each other in their respective lives, become one with each other. Maybe after that, maybe tomorrow, they could see what else developed, but Cal had no desire to rush her. He’d finally found her and he wasn’t about to scare her away with his desire for her, with his love for her. He just needed her to stay.
Lucy sighed. It was a deeply satisfied sigh. She smiled across the table at him. “I guess we should call it a night.”
Cold fear gripped his heart and Cal felt his contented expression falter. He searched his mind for a good excuse and then his gaze landed on the half empty bottle of cabernet sauvignon on the table. “But, we haven’t finished the wine.” It sounded corny even to his own ears.
Lucy followed his gaze to the bottle with a lazy smirk. “We did manage to finish the first bottle, remember. I’m pretty sure starting the second was a good enough achievement.”
When he frowned, she laughed at him, forcing Cal to see the funny side and let out a chuckle of his own.
“Are you suggesting, Miss Spencer, that I’m trying to get you tipsy by asking you to stay for another drink?”
Lucy playfully quirked an eyebrow. “Not at all, Mr. Hawthorne,” she explained with a giggle. “I’m merely admitting I’m tipsy enough as it is and don’t need another drink.”
They shared a laugh together.
“I’ve got to say, I’m feeling a little woozy myself,” Cal agreed, but he was willing to bet that his intoxication had more to do with being near Lucy than from drinking the alcoholic beverage.
“Then it’s decided.” Lucy sighed again as though in disappointment, then placed her hands on the tabletop and stood out of her chair. “Thanks for a wonderful dinner.”
As she rounded the table, Cal was quick, jumping out of his seat to follow. His hand wrapped around hers before he’d even thought the movement through. “Do you have to leave?” His voice almost wavered as he asked.
Lucy stopped where she stood, her free hand slightly stretched out toward the open door of his room as though it might be enough to will her to safety. Cal watched her closely as her gaze fell to his hand on hers. Gently, she squeezed her fingers against his and sent a tingle of electricity through him.
It was bad enough that he’d touched her, especially with his plan going so well, but the remaining constant skin-on-skin contact was both driving him to distraction and forcing him to focus on only one thing in particular—how much he’d like to touch the rest of her, everywhere.
When her tranquil blue eyes rose to his, they seemed dark and distant, as though she were lost in the depth of her own thoughts. A long moment passed, then her gaze dropped, and she was staring at his mouth. He stared at hers, his heartbeat racing.
What was she doing to him? He was losing control. He could feel his restraint slipping, his desire building. He needed to release her, to look away from her, but his fingers wouldn’t obey.
Then her tongue slipped out, and she licked her lips in one long delicate stroke—and something inside him just snapped.
Lucy was in his arms and Cal had barely pulled her to him. Their lips locked, her soft mouth opening to him. Her supple body melted along the hard line of his as his powerful arms wrapped around her, securing her against him. She moaned low in her throat as he tasted her, tongue, teeth, lips, he probed into her silky depths wanting to devour all of her.
His fingers found the warmth of the bare skin of her back and couldn’t help but slip beneath the black material of her dress to caress the smoothness of her waist. Her skin was delectably warm and smelled like honey and jasmine, while her lips still held the sweet tang of the berry sorbet they’d had for dessert. Lucy’s hands were around his neck, her fingers entwined in his hair as she held him close, refusing to let his mouth release hers.
Cal felt his mind swoon at the thrill of it, at the desire radiating out of her—out of him, at the thought that this was finally happening. As though he were a man possessed, his hands freed themselves from the temptation of her bare skin momentarily, then grasped around the lush roundness of her bottom, lifting her against him. Instinctively, Lucy’s left leg slipped through the side slit of her dress and wrapped around him. As Cal lifted her higher, the soft warmth of her sensual center found the stiffness of him and she let out a moan. Her hand shot down to the right side of her dress, hoisted up the black silk material and in an instant, her silky right leg was locked behind him as well.
Then, he was walking, awkwardly, slowly, almost blind, unable to control himself, heading inside and searching for somewhere suitable, for the bed. Lucy’s soft lips were stealing every ounce of sense from his thoughts. Though he’d been so sure it had been his hunger that had drawn them together, her own matched his perfectly, smothering him, devouring him with every brush of her lips and dance of her nimble tongue.
As she shifted against him, her hot core stroking against the hard, ready length of his erection, Cal’s focus turned primal. Her lips left his, her face burrowing into the crook of his neck, tasting the sensitive skin there with a lick and a gentle nibble. Just before his eyes rolled back into his head at the intoxicating sensation, he’d seen his destination.
Cal stumbled forward those last few feet until his knee hit the spongy mattress of the bed, then he climbed up, lowering Lucy there, finally forcing himself to release her to the softness below. Lucy fought to keep his lips to hers as Cal leaned back, struggling to remove his jacket, but then she found better use for her time away from him and began undoing his tie. She had his shirt open and his belt unclasped when he finally kissed her again.
“What are you doing to me?” It was more of a breathy groan than a question as Cal lowered his body to hers.
His groin fit snugly, perfectly, in the burning, wet valley between her legs, making her moan in reply. Her long, limber legs were still wrapped around him, holding him against her, pressing him harder into her. The feeling of her, moist, open and ready for him was driving him insane. He wanted to strip her naked, to strip himself naked, to be lost inside her, thrusting into her, building them both to an unimaginable climax. He wanted to roam her body, lave every inch of it with his tongue, press his lips to those pert nipples, devour that deep, intimate heat between her thighs. His hunger for her was like a wild beast, dangerous, ravenous, and out of control.
Though some small remaining flicker of sense deep within Cal knew that they might both regret giving in to the moment, it wasn’t enough to stop him. As Lucy writhed beneath him, her hands torn between unbuttoning his pants and clenching around the firmness of his buttocks, Cal’s last lingering shred of intelligence left him and he was lost to the beast within.
His desperate fingers pulled at the gold straps of her dress, dragging them down from her shoulders to free the generous mounds of her impeccable breasts. Her rosy nipples were pricked firm to attention as his voracious mouth drew them in with a gentle bite, lavishing each one with care, one after the other, unable to choose a favorite. Lucy purred in pleasure, her back arching, thrusting herself toward him as her fingers tangled in his hair.
When she moaned again, her eyes closed, focusing on the sensation, Cal could’ve sworn she’d said his name, that—in that gasp of sound—she had begged him to continue with a single word.
Cal.
It was enough to make him swell larger, sending a painful ache through him, making him desperate to seek that final release. He pulled the material of her dress lower, his tongue licking a moist trail between her breasts down to her bellybutton. There, he nibbled at the supple flesh, the peaches and cream of that delectable skin. He dipped his head lower, wishing the silky fabric would just disappear. He wanted to taste her, wanted to kiss his lips to that creamy core, to stroke that sensitive flesh with his tongue, with his fingers until she came. He needed to taste her, to know what she was like when she was hot, ready, and wanting him, needing him.
“Cal.” She moaned again and this time his name was audible.
It vibrated through him, his name on her lips, her desire, his need. It was building, unrelenting and he was running out of time.
He tore the fabric, the material of her lovely, black silk dress ripped in his strong hands. Cal groaned hungrily, animalistically, as the ebony lace of her panties revealed themselves. He bent his head lower, his mouth so close to its desired destination, while Lucy sighed and writhed in anticipation.
Suddenly, a loud buzz of vibration turned him rigid—and then the familiar chime of an incoming call began.
Cal swore angrily as he glanced up from his haven between Lucy’s legs to see his mobile phone dancing around on the bedside table.
Eyes wide, Lucy propped herself up on her elbows and began covering herself with the torn, black material that was once her dress.
Seeing her expression, Cal swore again.
Lucy’s cheeks were flushed and her breathing was ragged, but not because of the exceptional techniques of his sexual prowess. No—it was the terrified look on her face, the churning mixture of embarrassment and fear filling her wide, blue eyes that had caused this reaction. She stared at him as though she couldn’t understand how they’d gotten there, as though she was trapped—as though she wanted to run.
“It’s okay,” he told her, his tone low and calm the way you might speak to a frightened creature. “I can let it go to voicemail.”
Although he still ached with desire himself, needing to touch her, to taste her intimately, Cal rose slightly and moved over her, his face inches from hers.
Lucy stared at him, her large eyes quivering, glistening as though holding back tears while her teeth gnawed at her lower lip.
“It’s okay,” Cal repeated reassuringly as the ring and the vibration of the interrupting call finally ceased. Then he bent his head and placed a gentle kiss to Lucy’s swollen lips.
She responded, her mouth welcoming his, but then she broke out of the kiss and turned her head away.
Cal’s eyes blinked open at the movement just in time to see a single glittering tear curl its way over her cheekbone before she brushed it away.
“Lucy?” It was all he could say as his own overwhelming fear speared into his heart.
What had he done? He’d let things go too far, let everything get out of control. What did she think of him? Had he just confirmed the womanizing nature she believed him to have? Did she think she was just another one of his conquests? How could he have been so weak, such an idiot? Had he ruined everything?
Cal’s stomach ached with heavy dread as he dropped to the mattress beside Lucy and tried to get her to look at him. She dropped her head to her chest and breathed in a deep, trembling breath.
“I can’t do this.” Her usually sweet voice was strained as though her throat hurt. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why….” Lucy’s voice trailed off. Another deep breath had her choking back a sob. “Oh God, I’m so stupid.”
Cal’s heart ached at her words. He’d been the one who’d been stupid, not her. He placed a comforting arm around her shoulders and she let him pull her against him. She was fighting so hard not to cry, but her body still shook as though seeking another more suitable way to release her despair.
It absolutely destroyed him to see her this way, and it was all his fault. He should never have pressed her to stay. His desire for her had gotten the best of him and the whole thing had moved too quickly. And now, what would he do? What could he do? Could it be possible that she hated him even more than before?
As he held her closer, he thought that unlikely. She had been with him, after all, lost in the lust that had conquered them both. She’d kissed him with the same passion, touched him with the same desire, held onto him, wanting him with the same fire that he felt burning inside him. Their need had been mutual, he was sure of that—but then why was she so scared? And what was she afraid of?
Suddenly, she pushed away from him. “I have to go.” Her words were firm, direct, decisive.
Cal didn’t think he could convince Lucy to stay this time. He longed to comfort her, to have her confide in him, explain what terrified her, but she wasn’t yet in a state to talk things through.
With a shaky breath, Lucy moved even farther away from Cal on the bed until his arm fell free of her shoulders. Immediately, her rejection ate away at him and it pained him deeply, agonizingly, not to be touching her, consoling her. Although Cal hadn’t realized it at the time, her touch had been as comforting to him as he hoped his had been to her. It was all he could do not to reach out and try to touch her again.
As Cal looked over Lucy’s nearly nude body, that gorgeous figure, those slender limbs, he searched for something—anything—to say to fix the situation, to make things better, to go back a step to when they were getting along so perfectly just moments ago.
“Let me get you a robe.” The blunt, emotionless words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think them through, think about phrasing them and before he even made a move to get off the bed.
Lucy’s gaze shot to his and she frowned at him. There was hurt in her eyes, hurt he didn’t really understand. She stared into him, into his being, searching, her eyes narrowed, brows furrowed as if seeking an answer.
Cal had known he hadn’t said it right. He’d only thought to be a gentleman, to make her feel more comfortable instead of clutching her ripped dress to her bare chest. He’d thought it might help him too—help him stay focused on repairing the mess he’d made instead of focusing on how much he wanted her naked body beneath him. He’d known the words had left his lips distractedly, coldly even, but they’d been more for him, more of an instruction to tell him to stop acting like a horny bastard feeling sorry for himself and start doing something to make the woman of his dreams feel better.
His mouth fell open. Cal wanted to tell her what he’d meant, wanted to apologize, but the fear of saying something else equally stupid or even more unfeeling had the words catching in his throat.
When Cal frowned at her helplessly, Lucy’s face contorted in pain and he thought he could see fresh tears welling in her beautiful eyes.
“Oh—my God,” she said, her voice bursting out in sobs. Lucy’s hand covered her mouth as though in shock before it fell loosely into her lap again. “I should have known. This isn’t—I’m not impor—you don’t—” Her voice broke away again. A split second passed and she got abruptly to her feet. “It’s fine,” she said as she held the ebony material over her chest.
“Luce—” Cal began, his heart aching to correct her as he stood and moved toward her around the bed.
Lucy held up a hand to stop him, refusing to meet his eyes. “It’s fine,” she said again, her tone harsh, nearly cynical in its depth. “We’re fine. It will be business as usual tomorrow, but right now—I have to go.”
Cal’s heart felt like it was about to explode in his chest and his stomach was heavy with mounting anguish. He didn’t know how to mend things, didn’t know what to say to convince her that she was wrong. He wanted to tell her he loved her, that he’d loved her his whole life, but he knew that was certain to scare her away faster than the other mistakes he’d already made.
“Do you need anything? I can arrange it to be brought to your room?” His voice was breathy this time, but kind, empathetic.
Cal wanted to beg her to let him stay near her, to stay in his bed while he slept on the floor. He just wanted to be close to her. Fear gripped him deeper at the thought of her leaving him, of him having lost her again forever. He didn’t want to let her out of his sight in case she ran from him again. Yet, he knew that wouldn’t be possible. She’d made up her mind and no amount of pleading from him would convince her otherwise. He should be grateful that she would be sleeping as close as in the next room. That should have meant something, but it wasn’t enough.
“Are you sure you—” Don’t want to stay here, was what he’d wanted to ask before she cut him off again.
“I can’t stay here.”
It took Cal an instant to realize she hadn’t read his mind and that what she was actually saying was that she couldn’t stay here—the Cardinal Winery’s estate.
“I need to go home. I can’t stay here tonight.”
Cal felt his mouth open in protest, but still the words didn’t come. Shock had frozen his whole body. It was as though everything he’d feared had finally come true. She was leaving him, running away from him again and he didn’t know if this would be the last time her saw her for another fourteen years—or more.
His heart exploded or at least it felt like it. He was suddenly breathless, numb, unbelieving. Then his whole body began to ache with such ferocity that he nearly stumbled when he finally found the strength to step toward her.
“I don’t want an argument,” she told him fiercely, shutting him down again as she walked to the open connecting door. “I just need you to do this for me. I need to go home.”
Screw it! He wanted an argument if it would mean that he could win, that she would stay with him. Angry now, not at Lucy, but at his own stupidity, at the situation, Cal felt his eyebrows furrow. His lips parted and he was about to ask her to tell him a good reason why he should let her go, when she glanced up and finally met his gaze.
There was so much pain there, so much anger, so much fear. Cal couldn’t comprehend how she could possibly feel that way. Her turquoise eyes were dark with sorrow, hard with a desperate control as they gazed into his and then, all of a sudden, her reasons began to become a little clearer.
Could it be that she loved him? That she actually loved him back? Was that it? Was that the reason she was so terrified?
Lucy had been so desperate to keep things under her control, to focus on work, to keep their relationship platonic, to not reminisce about the past. She’d hidden herself away from him for nearly a decade and a half for God’s sake, could it be that she did that because of her love, because of her fear that he didn’t love her back?
“I’m going to call a taxi.” Her lovely voice, firm though it was, cut through his wandering thoughts.
“No, you’re not.” He was no longer at a loss for words, no longer shocked, no longer in pain. His Lucy loved him. He could see it now, in her eyes, in the fear, in her escape. She wasn’t just trying to protect herself from him, she was trying to protect herself from her own feelings.
Cal finally knew how to make things better, although he couldn’t do much tonight. He had to give Lucy the space she needed to calm and clear her head, but he’d also make sure that there was no permanent escape route. Running away from him would not solve her problems, even if she didn’t realize it.
“I’ll have my chauffeur drive you back. I’ll call him. He’s staying in a room at the main house. I’m sure he’ll be ready in less than half an hour.”
Lucy moved to protest, but it was Cal’s turn to cut her off.
“He can take you straight home and return for me in the morning. I’ll also leave a message for Julia letting her know you’ve returned. I’m sure she’ll pass it on to your guard dogs—sorry, I mean friends.” He teased her gently, playful, hoping to provoke a smile.
Her eyebrows twitched as if in response and then her face softened.
Obviously, she hadn’t cottoned on to his plan to keep her from fleeing him all over again. He hoped that if her friends found out about her return to the city and the adventures of the past day, they would be keen to contact her, to check on her and that would make her escape all that much more difficult.
A very small smile spread her lips slightly. “Thank you.” Her tone was sincere. “I’d really appreciate that.”
With his own warm smile, he nodded at her. Things were improving. He could feel he was making headway and Lucy was beginning to relax again.
Tugging her torn dress further around herself, Lucy moved to step back into her room. At the threshold, she turned. “I’ll see you at the office tomorrow morning,” she told him, her tone strangely reassuring.
Then she was gone, her door closed and locked behind her.
She’d see him tomorrow morning? It was a pledge he hadn’t expected her to make, being certain himself that she would do everything in her power to hide from him now that things had gotten…intimate. Yet, he’d hold her to that. Perhaps she wasn’t about to run after all.