Chapter Twenty-Four
Simone stretched the duvet tight into the last corner, running her palm over the clean linen to smooth it as she made up the bed. Sarah had helped her, but she’d been more in the way than anything else. Sarah’s chatter was one thing, but it didn’t help her pluck her courage together to pick up the phone and call Carlo.
An hour had passed since Carlo’s swift exit, and still he hadn’t called her. Every event of the morning kept circling in her mind, and she found she was not quite ready to tell him she’d inadvertently caused the whole fuck-up.
Her fingers trembled, and when her phone’s ring echoed down the corridor, she jumped. She’d been expecting it, and yet, she didn’t want to answer the call.
She rushed down the corridor to grab the phone from the kitchen counter, her pulse slowing down as she saw it was only the office administrator phoning her. She took a deep breath before she answered.
“Would you be able to fly today?” Rebecca asked. “One of our standby pilots is already standing in for Ted Barker, who has called in sick. Mr. Carlevaro asked if you would be able to fly with the DHC to fetch Mr. Angelo and the Viggios from Seronera?”
The anxiety, which had curled around her throat like a cold hand the past hour, clutched tight. Carlo hadn’t bothered to phone her directly with this request but had asked the office to phone her. She ignored the tug in her stomach.
“I know you have a day off, Simone—”
“Of course I can fly, Rebecca.” Her voice croaked over the line and she had to clear her throat. “I just need to arrange for my nanny to take care of Sarah. As soon as she’s here I’ll be on my way.”
“Thank you. How long do you think you’ll take?” Rebecca asked.
“I’ll leave as soon as the nanny arrives.” She checked the time on the kitchen clock. “I should be there in less than two hours, if the traffic to the airport isn’t a disaster.”
“Thank you. Ross is on standby to fly with you. He already signed out the keys.”
Simone closed her eyes as she hung up. Ross O’Connor of all people. She should have spared herself any flight in his company.
She dropped her head back, taking a deep breath. She became aware of the almost unnatural silence in the apartment. She looked around and found Sarah staring at her. She stood in the middle of the carpet, two dolls hanging from her little hands, her face dejected. “You fly today?”
Every weight dragged her down and she had to wipe the tear that crawled down her cheek. Now was hardly the time for another emotional breakdown in front of Sarah.
“I’m sorry, darling. Someone is sick and can’t fly, so I have to go in his place.” She tried to smile, but it felt like a grimace. “I’ll be back tonight.”
Sarah frowned and Simone sensed her thoughts ticking over. You said that the last time, and you were gone for days. Sarah dropped the dolls to the carpet as her shoulders slumped in automatic acceptance. “Ruthie?”
Simone looked away, unable to face Sarah’s disappointment. “I’m calling her now.”
Ruth was available, and Simone thanked her accursed stars as she went to the bedroom, Sarah trailing behind her.
Her bedroom almost looked strange, neat, without a trace of anything that had happened there during the night. It was as if Carlo had never been there, leaving her feeling empty.
She rushed her shower, whilst Sarah rummaged through some old toiletries. She paused in front of her closet, taking in the space where her uniforms usually hung, all ironed and ready. It was empty. All her uniforms were in the wash or still drying.
She still had some old Carlevaro shirts and cargo pants somewhere from the first cycle of uniform handouts three years ago. She looked through the drawers one by one, searching for where she’d packed them away. The drawer she’d packed them in was empty, and she swore under her breath. She was sure they’d been stashed away there, but then she hadn’t spring-cleaned her apartment since she’d moved in.
She shrugged. Say hi to casual day. She sighed at the thought. It was the Carlevaros; they were no longer strangers but they were still the owners. Even if the Carlevaros forgave her the slip in attire, she didn’t relish the idea of appearing unprofessional. She pulled on a T-shirt and jeans, just as the doorbell rang. She heard Ruth letting herself in, calling a cuckoo to Sarah, who crawled to the bedroom door and peeked out to the corridor.
“Cuckoo!” Sarah called back.
Some of the tension slipped from her shoulders. Sarah didn’t throw a tantrum and seemed fine, despite their day together having gone down the drain. She didn’t want to think of Carlo’s promise of being back later. It had thinned to mere words.
She met up with Sarah and Ruth in the lounge. “Thank you for coming, I hate doing this to you last minute.” Again.
“No worries, I had nothing planned.” Ruth crouched down to Sarah. “We’ll have fun, won’t we? There’s still time to go to nursery school if you want to go play, Sarah?”
“If Carlo comes by, you can let him in,” she said, not sure why she’d bothered to mention him. “But I’m definitely back tonight.” The clock on the wall beckoned her. “I’d best get going.”
She roped Sarah in for a quick hug and kiss, but Sarah lifted her arms to block the hug and turned her cheek away, forcing her to kiss her temple instead. The pang that shot to her heart at the rejection was almost too painful, and as she closed the front door behind her she leaned against it for a minute. That was the first time Sarah had done that to her.
Driving to the airport gave her time to think. She weighed the pros and cons of telling Carlo about her involvement in the leak sooner rather than later. The option of not telling him flitted through her mind, but she shook her head. He should find it out from her, rather than from anybody else. Whichever way, it didn’t look good. She parked her car at the second terminal and took her phone from her handbag. Carlo still hadn’t phoned her and she shuddered to think about the morning he must have had since marching out of her apartment.
She dialed the number he’d given her a couple of days ago. It rang a few times before he answered.
“Carlo?” Her throat constricted.
“Simone? Hold on.”
She heard him typing in the background and closed her eyes, resting her head on the steering wheel.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“At the airport.”
“Sorry to do that to you,” he said. “But someone needs to go fetch Angelo and Dino.”
He sounded stressed, and the tapping on the keyboard didn’t stop.
“Don’t worry about me.” The guilt was suddenly too heavy. “I—”
“Is Sarah okay? Ruthie is with her?”
“Yes.”
“Good, we don’t have a choice right now.”
She sat up again, putting her fist to her mouth. The way he talked, it was as if they were in this together.
He groaned. “This is spreading so fast, Mona. It’s a fucking cock-up. To think the whole bunch of them are sitting in London for the Tusk Awards. I should’ve known this morning. They always go for meetings beforehand. I just got an email from the marketing director of A&K, one of our biggest clients for East Africa and a sponsor of the awards.” He paused as she heard him click-click-click. “Listen to this email—”
She knew who A&K was, and it didn’t help. Her stomach cramped. “I know how this got leaked, Carlo,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“What?” He was silent for a moment. “How?”
She cleared her throat. “It’s my fault.” She took a deep breath. “Michael Flynn’s girlfriend, Annie Smith, works for the African Elephant Specialist Group.”
She told him about asking Michael to check the hold, and how he’d found the tusk. “I didn’t tell Michael to keep his findings to himself…I counted on his discretion.”
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening and she filled with dread.
“Annie Smith is a real climber, she’s moved from one NGO to the next in the past five years, always going higher up, using whatever she can to…be promoted.” She was rambling on now just to fill the silence with her own voice.
He sighed into the phone, his breathing hardly containing his fury, which was palpable. She shrunk into her seat, wanting to get away from whatever he was going to say. She could see him clenching his teeth, rubbing his forehead.
“Say something, please.” She didn’t want to beg, but there it was.
After seconds that ticked on like days, he sighed. “What do you want me to say? That it’s okay? I told you that first night that you were the only person I trust, Simone.”
The jab was piercingly sharp, and she closed her eyes. “I know,” she whispered, but her voice broke and she wasn’t sure he’d heard her, as he said nothing.
He murmured in Italian and the tone of his voice made her shudder. “At some point, this would’ve come out despite our efforts to keep it under the carpet. I would’ve preferred to have some progress in our investigations first. Having something concrete to report when such allegations are made makes us look in charge, whereas right now, we look like we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, that we are unable to manage our own company.” His anger was stressed with each word he pronounced, his Eton English almost biting in the hauteur of his pronunciation.
This wasn’t the passionate Italian from the previous night; neither was it the man who had fathered Sarah—this was the CEO of Carlevaro International. She didn’t know what to say and her chest tightened as he started typing again.
“Where are you?” she asked to break the heavy silence.
“I’m at the office. Sitting at Peppe’s desk,” he barked. “Someone should be here.”
“I’m sorry, Carlo. I didn’t—”
“I need you to fetch Dino,” he interrupted her. “I’m thinking of going to London. Fuck. These stakeholders were my father’s cronies. Friendships and trust that were forged over decades.”
She swallowed. “Yes, I understand.”
A heavy silence ticked past. “When my dad and Peppe started Carlevaro East Africa, they had a plane and two bush camps in the Serengeti. That was forty years ago. Every cent of profit was pumped back into the company, into conservation.” He paused as if to give her time to digest his words as if she didn’t understand. “This can’t go down in flames under my watch, Simone.”
Her throat contracted at the thought that the company could go down, and that she would have had a hand in it. She would never be able to forgive herself if it came to that. “No,” she managed to whisper.
“Dino needs to be here to deal with the Tanzanian government. At this point, I’d be surprised if they don’t already know.” He resumed his typing. “I’ll talk to you later.”
He rang off before she could say anything. Tears threatened to spill over as she closed her eyes. She pressed her fingertips to her eyelids, forcing the tears away. The least she could do was to contain her emotions and get on the plane to fetch Dino.
She unbuckled and got out of the car, grabbing her handbag and locking up. Entering the terminal building, she did her best to calm herself, but deep down it was a façade.
She found Ross slouched on one of the sofas when she walked into the staff lounge.
“Let’s go,” she said, wishing she could be as relaxed as Ross.
He gave her the once-over as he pocketed his phone, his eyebrows hitching as his gaze hovered over her breasts. “You’re flying dressed like that?”
His open inspection gave her the creeps. “Yes.” She sauntered away from him, not caring if he followed her or not. Of course he would make some stupid comment about her attire.
“Not once I’m manager,” Ross said, right behind her.
“Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched,” she spat back.
Twenty minutes later they were taxiing to the runway. She cringed and wanted to squirm as Ross’s hand covered hers. His fingers were rough with calluses on them, his skin scratchy. His touch stirred a revolt in her stomach, because her body still tingled with the traces left by Carlo’s lovemaking. Carlo’s palm had been gentle, his fingers long and manicured; hands whose hard labor only involved making a woman come. Heat crept up her cheeks at the memory and the thought of the bed linen that was probably hitting the rinse cycle in the washing machine at home.
This was why she could never get over him. Carlo was etched into her whole being, more so now than ever. Was this feeling all that remained of the night?
She sighed in relief as Ross let go and they climbed into the sky.
“So how was your trip with the Carlevaros?” Ross asked some time into the flight.
“It was fine.” She didn’t want to talk to Ross.
“I heard you got a chalet at Seronera.” Ross’s voice drilled through the headset to interrupt her thoughts. “Must’ve been fun?”
“Yes.” She sure as hell hoped Ross hadn’t gotten that tidbit from Michael Flynn.
“Why?”
“Because it’s high season and the staff accommodation was full with private guides.” She rolled her eyes. Everything had to be explained and justified. “Kevin had to swap some guests to the Grumeti to make space for the Carlevaros.”
He didn’t respond. She might just as well get to the point. “Listen, Ross, I’m not in the mood for small talk.” Sometimes things had to be spelled out.
“Rough night, Simone?” He didn’t turn to her, but something in the tone of his voice, more than the vulgar smirk in it, made unease slink down her spine.
“If dealing with a mountain of washing is your idea of a rough night, yes.” She prayed that her voice sounded normal, aided by the distortion of the headset and the microphone she spoke into.
“I’d love to show you my idea of a rough night.” He leaned over and put his hand on her thigh. It was so sudden she hardly had time to register the move before he pinched her leg. She jolted but his hand jumped to her groin. He clasped her mound, pushing his fingers down to grope the soft lips of her already tender sex.
She choked on the breath of air she inhaled. She tried to close her legs, but only managed to catch his arm between the yoke and her knees. She grabbed his hand and peeled it off her, jerking his fingers back until she saw him wince, then she yanked some more.
“Fuck you, bitch!” He yanked away, forcing her to release his hand.
She let go, hoping she’d broken his finger. She leaned away from him, wanting to run. But she was strapped in the pilot’s seat, sky-high, the yoke of the aircraft bobbing listlessly in front of her as if nothing had happened. Her whole body burst out in pins and needles, and vomit pushed up her throat. She gulped, her heart beating so fast it felt as if it would jump from her chest.
By instinct she checked the instruments in front of her. Everything was as it should be. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ross with his hand resting on his leg, rubbing his filthy fingers against each other. He said something but her ears buzzed. She pulled the headset from her head, breathed deeply, trying to step back from what had happened.
After a minute she put the headset on again. He chuckled and she wanted to punch him so hard that his blood would splatter over the airplane’s windows.
She waited for her heart rate to calm down, clenching her jelly legs together. When she could control her voice, she turned and glared at him.
“If you want to go down in this plane today, touch me again. It will give me great pleasure to see you die, even if it’s the last thing I do. I’ll also remind you that the last guy who tried this with me not only got a few weeks in a Tanzanian prison, complimentary of Peppe’s influence, but also lost his job and left with a criminal record.” She took a deep breath. “Don’t fuck with me, Ross O’Connor.”
“Justin was stupid enough to get caught on camera. Who’s going to believe you now, Simone? Peppe’s gone.”
She’d always had an uneasy feeling around Ross, and her instincts had been right. “I’m reporting this as soon as we get back to Dar es Salaam.”
“Are you now?”
Of course she was going to report it. How could he think otherwise?
He was quiet. She checked the instruments in front of her. Thirty minutes to go before they arrived at Seronera.
The atmosphere was laden with something unsaid. It dawned on her that he was neither scared of her, nor of her threats. She took a sideways glance. He seemed indifferent, possibly faking concentration, probably searching for words to throw her off balance. A smile played on his lips, and the idea of him laughing at her made her stomach turn afresh.
“So tell me, is he a good lay?”
She froze. “What?”
“Carlo Carlevaro, did he ride you hard last night?”
Blood drained to her feet as the implication of his words hit her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Shut up, will you?”
“Come on, Simone, I saw him go into your apartment and he didn’t leave until this morning.”
“What the hell? Are you stalking me?” As soon as the words were out she wanted to kick herself. She could just as well have admitted he was right.
“No, mere coincidence. But useful to know, all the same.” He glanced at her. “He did leave in a hurry early this morning. No bad feelings, I hope?”
Her whole being reduced to ash. She didn’t know what to say and stared out of the window at the landscape, which swept away underneath them.
“You slept with Peppe. Moving over to the new boss would be no surprise.” He sighed into the mouthpiece. “It’s a pity you aim so high, some of the lads are crazy about you.”
Anger washed over her like a tsunami. “I did not sleep with Peppe Carlevaro!” she spat at him. “And the new boss is Angelo Carlevaro! Get your freaking facts straight, asshole.”
“So you’re not denying it?” He was so calm his words chilled her inside and out. “This wouldn’t look good if it comes out,” he continued, his voice sympathetic in a monotone, reprimanding way. “Imagine if you get the management position. Everybody will say it’s because you slept with both Peppe and Carlo Carlevaro. Especially if you go and smear my name, the only other successful applicant.”
She swallowed. She trusted Ross to spread the news bit by bit, insinuating seeds of untruths. He was the type to use anything against her to get what he wanted.
“Withdraw your application for the management position, and this will all go away.”
She laughed, but it sounded a bit hysterical. “Are you blackmailing me? What you did doesn’t just go away.” Fury rose like bile in her throat.
“No, not really. I’m trying to convince you to keep some sort of reputation intact.”
A frisson of hate rode over her. “Go to hell.”
She should ignore his words, but they’d struck the old chord inside her. For years she’d tried to convince herself that the rumors about her and Peppe didn’t affect her. The idea of being seen as a slut had always been abhorrent to her…it was so far from the truth. Sarah’s absent father had compounded it, and even though things might change with Carlo’s return, Ross had the ability to play every emotional weakness she had.
She burned to tell him that Sarah was Carlo’s daughter and that Carlo had the right to be at her apartment for that very reason. Instead she closed her eyes and bit her tongue. Revenge against this dickhead who had made her life a subtle hell over the past few years would be great, but it was none of Ross’s business. Ross would have a field day with that information and he had no right to know, not when Carlo’s family was still out of the loop, and about to board this very plane.
She chewed her tongue the rest of the flight, which couldn’t end quickly enough. The stripe of dust of the Carlevaros’ vehicle approaching the airstrip was visible from the air. They were only a minute away from the airstrip. On landing the aircraft she breathed out her angst. She released the throttle, closing her eyes. Ross snorted as he pulled off his headset, unbuckled his harness and got up to open the air stair.
She wanted to stretch her legs, but they felt too heavy. Anger overpowered all other emotion and she pulled herself out of her seat, clinging to the railing as she descended the stairs, not trusting her legs. She unlocked the hold for the luggage. Ross smoked a cigarette some distance away, his back toward her, relaxing with not a care in the world. She switched on her phone, wanting to report the incident immediately, if only verbally to the fleet manager, but it searched for a network for some time, finding no reception.
The tension in her shoulders had escalated to a painful cramp. She breathed out a sigh of relief as Angelo, Natalia and Dino arrived and got out of the vehicle. She suppressed the need to run to them.
Ross went to help the driver with their luggage, and carried some bags to the airplane, in conversation with Angelo and Dino.
Natalia came up to her. She had dark half-moons under her eyes, which accentuated her worry lines and wrinkles. “Thank you for coming to fetch us. If we knew yesterday that this was going to happen we would’ve left for Dar es Salaam with you.”
“You couldn’t have foreseen this.”
Natalia shook her head, drawing her mouth in a grim line. “That’s up for debate. You’re pale, are you okay?”
“We had some turbulence. I felt nauseated earlier.” Simone couldn’t meet Natalia’s penetrating gaze. Natalia was the type of woman she could tell anything to, but not now, not here in front of all the men.
“Oh dear, that’s not Dino’s cup of tea either.”
“Sit in the front row; it sometimes helps.” It wasn’t true, but she wasn’t flying back with Ross O’Connor at groping distance without Natalia and Dino breathing down his neck.
She greeted Dino and Angelo and soon they were in the air, heading back to Dar es Salaam. With the other three on board Ross didn’t even look at her. He was such a coward.