I existed somewhere between darkness and light, aware but unable to respond. Voices filtered through the fog that held me captive, muffled and distant like I was underwater.
"Good morning, Alpha King."
Richard's voice. He sounded tired.
"Good morning, brother." That was Jack. His voice made something in my chest tighten, even in this state. "How is she doing? She should be waking soon, right?"
I wanted to tell them I could hear them. I wanted to open my eyes and end whatever this was, but my body refused to obey. Something held me back, kept me tethered to this safe darkness where nothing could hurt me anymore.
"I do not know why, but I feel Aurora is not willing to wake up," Richard said. "She is fighting back instead of willing to come around."
He was right. Part of me did not want to return to consciousness, to face whatever waited on the other side. The memories were there, hovering at the edges of my awareness. Pain. Humiliation. Jack's hands on me, his rage, his cruelty.
"Will she be alright?" Jack's voice had changed, darker now. "Do you think she is doing this because of me?"
Yes, I wanted to scream. Because of you. Because of everything you did.
"I cannot say, Alpha King. But if by this evening she does not show signs of coming around, then we will know what to do next."
"Can I talk to her? Will she hear me?"
"You can try."
Footsteps approached. A chair scraped against the floor. Then warmth enveloped my hand, large and familiar. Jack's hand. My wolf stirred weakly in recognition of her mate, but I pushed her back down.
"Forgive me, Aurora."
I wanted to pull my hand away but could not.
"Everything I have done and said to you, please forgive me. I know I crossed the line the day I forced myself on you, when I took you against your will. Please forgive me. I did that because I had a wrong notion about you, about your lunch with John. I wanted to punish you and I did. Despite your pleas and telling me you were not that kind of woman, I did not listen. I thought you were lying, that you were a spy sent to infiltrate my pack. How wrong I was."
His voice cracked slightly.
"You are a good woman, Aurora, and I regret every single behavior I exhibited towards you. Please forgive me. For the banishment order, forgive me. For my insults, abuse, and humiliation towards you, forgive me. For everything, forgive me. I hope you wake up soon and find a place in your heart to forgive me. And again, I want to thank you for saving my life. If it were not for you, I would have been dead already. Thank you."
The darkness around me seemed to pulse with my emotions. Anger. Grief. A tiny, treacherous flicker of something else.
"I promise you, Aurora, that once you are out of here, it is going to be you, Cody, and myself. Just the three of us henceforth."
Time passed. I could not tell how much. Voices came and went. At some point, I heard Richard return.
"Why are you so concerned about Aurora, Alpha King? Are you doing it out of debt or do you think it is your only way of repaying her for saving your life?"
"But do you not think Aurora deserves to be loved?"
Before anyone could respond, something changed. I felt it before they noticed. My heartbeat, already weak, began to falter. The darkness pulled at me harder, promising peace, promising an end to the pain.
"Aurora is rejecting life!"
Richard's voice cut through the fog, sharp with panic. Alarms sounded. Footsteps rushed in. My wolf whimpered deep inside me, but I ignored her. What was the point? What was left for me in that world of pain?
"What is wrong with you, Aurora?"
Richard's voice was suddenly harsh, cutting. Not gentle anymore.
"I know you can hear me. You want to die? Go ahead and die and leave Cody. Let the poor boy grow up without a mother. That is what you want, right? Fine, die. What for? Save Jack Hudson and die? You want Cody to live the rest of his life absorbing the story of how his mother died sheepishly to save his father?"
Something in his words pierced through my resolve. Cody. My son.
"And Cody will be happy and love his father, right? You think Cody will have a normal relationship with Jack after hearing such a heart wrenching story? Jack will not force his son to love him either. He cannot do it. He will decide to have other pups, and Cody will be left alone."
No. The word formed in my mind but could not reach my lips.
"So just die, Aurora!"
Cody alone. Cody watching his father raise other children, other pups with another woman while he stood apart, the son of the woman who died. Cody growing up the way I had, motherless, searching for love in a world that felt empty without her.
My heart responded before my mind caught up. The steady beep of the monitor began to strengthen. Something shifted inside me, a wall crumbling.
"What are you waiting for, Aurora? Go ahead and die!"
No. I would not do that to my son. I would not make him live the life I had lived. My fingers twitched, the first movement I had made in what felt like forever.
The darkness began to recede, slowly at first, then faster. Light crept in at the edges of my consciousness. Sounds became clearer. The antiseptic smell of the medical ward filled my nose.
My wolf rose within me, stronger now, pushing me toward consciousness. Toward life. Toward my son.
I would wake up. Not for Jack. Not even for myself. But for Cody, who needed his mother more than I needed the peace of oblivion.