29. Memories of Pain

THEONI couldn’t sleep. Long after her heartbeat steadied, when her struggle not to press against my cock stopped and the exhaustion of the long day overcame her, I lay awake.

The distant sound of the waves seeped through the walls of the small cabin. Her soft rhythmic breathing was accompanied by a random whimper or tiny moan when she adjusted her position, wriggling her ass as she pressed herself into my cock. She was a minx, and I knew, if given the option, she’d love to play and have her way with me. I looked down at her, her creamy breasts pressed together in her silk top. One of her hands cupped the wrist of the arm that was under her head.

I had ruined her life in more ways than she knew. If all she wanted was a little comfort… I could give her that…

But deep down, I knew it wasn’t why I had come to her room, and that same reason was keeping me awake. A night from long ago replayed in my mind. The events of today had brought back those painful memories…

Seeing Yileyna at the helm, her hands tied, helpless as she stared into the face of death… I didn’t know what pull she had on me, but I didn’t want to lose her, not yet. She was proving a good distraction from the turmoil in my mind. She wasn’t scared to piss me off, and when I was around her, it distracted me from the storm within my head. It had almost been a decade since then, but the memory was still fresh in my mind…

Closing my eyes, I pressed my lips to the back of her shoulder, enjoying the feel of her cool skin against my lips. For a werewolf, she was always cool rather than hot, but I liked that, feeling her against the heat of my body, heat that she awakened within me. Her fresh scent of sea breeze and spring confused me, just like the sea. I loved it as much as I hated it.

Werewolves preferred land, but growing up, I enjoyed travelling by sea, enjoying the adventure, until that event anyway… love and hate. That’s how it felt. Yileyna was the same. I hated her, yet I desired her. I don’t know how it worked… wanting to rip someone apart for consuming me and then wanting to protect that person no matter the cost…

I sighed, staring up at the ceiling. My head was pounding, but no matter how many times I tried to push the memory that raged at the forefront of my mind away, it was futile. A memory of a tragedy that had happened not far from here… a memory from long ago…

ALMOST A DECADE AGOThe smell of blood filled the air. A few bodies with their hearts ripped out littered the deck – the bodies of our men. "Theon! Hide!" "I am not leaving you alone!" I hissed, staring into the beautiful blue eyes of the strongest woman I knew. "That’s an order," she whispered back, her voice gentle yet her command absolute. The seductive, haunting song that was filling my ears was lulling me to sleep. I knew we were the only ones left. The pack had died protecting us… "Mom, I have my wolf. I’m fine," I hissed. I had shifted far faster than most, and I was not going to sit aside and do nothing. "Theon, your life is worth far more than mine. Protect your sisters." Her voice was anguished, and, although I didn’t let it show, it fucking terrified me. "I…" I nodded. It was my duty to protect my family… Mom was right. Besides, she had more of a chance against them than I did. Dad was meant to meet us… where was he? Mom pulled out her sword, and I picked up my sisters, but my legs refused to budge. I needed to go below deck. Our ship, if you could call it that, was tiny. The crew were all dead. The rain was pouring down, and both my sisters looked as terrified as I felt inside. Fuck, this wasn’t good. "Theon… I'm scared," Thea, my seven-year-old sister, whispered, her amber eyes filled with fear, her black hair falling in front of her face. "I know. We are going to be o-" My eyes flew open as the waves rose high in the air, and the enchanting song seemed to seep into every part of my body. I reached for the small dagger that Thea carried and slammed it into my hip, making Thalia scream. The smell of blood filled my nose, but my mind felt clearer as the pain shot through my body. Theon, take the girls through the portal. Use the crystal, now! Mom screamed through the link "Let me go," Thalia whispered. Her blue eyes glazed as she looked ahead towards the Siren that had taken out our entire crew alone. My heart skipped a beat at how beautiful the monster was. Was it possible that everything I heard was maybe just a lie? Long pale blonde hair fell to her waist, large breasts that were completely bare, and a narrow waist that led to a tail of scales, scales in shades of blue and silver. A beauty that lures you to your death. THEON! USE THE CRYSTAL NOW! Mom’s voice shook me from my numb state. The crystal? Our last resort. Dad said to only use it if we had no other option. The chances of surviving the transportation spell were less. But for Mom to scream at me to use it… meant we could die here anyway. I looked up at Mom. She had shifted, but I could tell she was losing the battle. The Siren’s hand dripped with blood as she slammed Mom to the ground. Anger rushed through me. I put Thalia and Thea down, shifting as I lunged at the monster before me. She laughed sardonically. "Ah… the blood of an Alpha... it’s what I crave…" she whispered seductively, raising her hand. A wave of water slammed me down, the wood beneath me splintering at the sheer force. I growled, getting back up. "Theon, look at Thalia!" Thea screamed. I turned, and it was almost as if I was watching it all in slow motion. Thalia was climbing over the edge as if she wanted to jump into the water. Fuck! I saw Mom forced to shift back; her body was covered in bloody gashes as the ’s beautiful laugh filled my ears as she looked down at Mom. I was torn. Mom or Thalia… I ran towards the edge of the ship, just about to grab Thalia, when a blast of water pushed me away from her, and to my horror, I saw her jump. ! I rushed through the water that had thrown me back and to the edge of the ship, staring out into the havoc of the storm. I couldn’t see her! Fear consumed me, paralysing me. Thalia! Thalia… Theon… the crystal… Mom’s hoarse voice came through the link. I turned towards her, my heart thumping. Mom! Thalia! She - Is dead, Mom’s emotionless voice answered. I felt cold. I didn’t want to believe it. No, she isn’t! I shouted. The crystal. I refused to believe that! She was only five! I shifted back, staring at the water. I glanced back at Thea, who was clinging to a post, fear clear in her shaking body. I looked out at the water, anguish and conflict filling me. I couldn’t think straight. I had to save everyone! Just then, my heart leapt when I saw her white dress. Thalia! A huge wave lifted her up and tossed her tiny body onto the ship. "Thalia!" I ran to her. My happiness faded instantly, fear and horror replacing it when I saw the reality before me. Thalia’s body lay before me, her eyes shut as if she was just asleep, her copper hair framing her tiny face, but the only thing I could stare at was the large, gaping hole in her chest where her heart had been ripped out. I backed away, the harsh truth that she was dead hitting me hard. I looked towards Mom, who was on her knees. The Siren had one hand on her cheek, the other plunged deep into her chest, and before my eyes, she ripped her heart out, tossing it into the ocean before turning her attention to me. "Now, my true prize… I smelt that there was an Alpha on board…" she whispered in a seductive voice. I backed away, unable to comprehend the vast hurricane of emotions that were killing me from the inside and making it hard to breathe. An Alpha on board, she came for me… she came for me. Mom… Thalia… as much as I wanted to kill the monster before me, I wasn’t strong enough… Thea… she only had me now. Turning, I ran to her, yanking the crystal from my neck. "Ara shor mei kharaas!" I echoed the words Dad had drilled into me, grabbing Thea as a blast of light filled the stormy skies. "No!" The Siren screamed. I felt the barrier rise to the skies, and I wrapped my arms around Thea as I felt it wrap around us, sucking us into its abyss. Deep down, I knew if I had listened to Mom, Thalia would have been alive. I was responsible for her death. For Mom’s…My heart was thudding painfully, the excruciating pain in my chest threatening to suffocate me. I sat up, clutching my head as it squeezed painfully with the memories.

"Theon…"

I froze, remembering I wasn’t alone. For the first time in years, I had allowed someone to remain beside me, but it hadn't been a smart idea. I could never share the truth with anyone…

She placed a hand on my back, the dreaded sparks of her touch clearing my mind.

"Are you okay?"

She was on her knees next to me, her hand on my shoulder, the concern in her eyes so fucking clear. I wasn’t stupid; I knew she cared for me more than she let on, and I pretended not to see it so I could hold onto this for a while longer.

"Theon?"

My heart was racing, and there was no way I could say it was nothing. Looking into her grey eyes, I pulled her into my lap, tangling my hand into her hair as I yanked her close. My lips crashed against hers in a kiss fuelled with a thousand emotions. The desperation for a distraction from my own mind was consuming me…