THE FEAR
I am practically dragging myself as I saunter into Andy's room. My heart is heavy downcast. It further starts to bleed when my eyes plummet at the sight of his face as he fiddles with his daughter on his bed. I feel so shattered and amidst the unrest. The only reason I am not weeping right now is only Andy has no clue of the catastrophe awaiting him yet. But for how long?
And even so, all these lies are tormenting me. I hate keeping secrets from him. I decide to tell him the truth about my pregnancy because I know he will be over moon with the news.
But about Angel?
Where on earth can I get the vitality to mumble such a heartbreaking thing to him?
How can I shutter all the dreams he has for the innocent kid just like that? This smile on his face, I can not take that away from him. I can't bear to watch go through the torture of losing Angel. I don't even want to imagine the pain agony this will bring to him. I can't handle seeing him get shuttered.
And Angel?
What kind of life would she have besides Maria? Would that witch even give her kind of life and happiness? How would she feel after learning that the man she so much is not her real father? Who is even her father, huh?
"Babe? Are you okay?" Andy's voice startles me, cutting my exploration of Angel's shot.
"Can we just stay here, mommy? Daddy says he can't come with us and I don't to leave him." The poor kid says, leaning on Andy's shoulder who has his still glued on me.
I know he can sense something odd.
"Aah... I'm sorry, baby, but we have to go. Daddy will come with us next time, ?" I try to remain as confident as I can.
"Why not now, mommy? Is it because of that woman? I don't like her mommy."
Ooh, poor kid! If only she knows how much I would give to get her out of this . If only she knows how wish that Maria was not her mother. But then are just the way they are. I can not reverse the fact that the witch is her mother, or that she was once Andy's wife. All that I can do now is to her from causing any more havoc to their lives, and that I will do.
I walk up to the bed, and stand beside Andy, looking at the oblivious kid.
"Why don't we make a deal, baby, huh? Today we will have to go without daddy, next time, we won't leave him behind, alright?" I say with a heavy heart albeit a lot of hope.
We deserve peace after everything. This needs to end.
"Promise, mommy?"
"Promise!" I give her a high five, oblivious of what lies I will tell her next time.
"Are you okay?" Andy repeats his question again.
It had slipped out of my mind that I didn't respond to him. I hope he doesn't feel I am dismissing him. I don't have the strength to do so. He is my all, and all I is nothing but him, and for him - us, the three of us, to be happy.
"I'm fine, hun. I'm just freaked out a bit by this, but, I am all good." I mumble.
You should see me trying to sell my lies, acting like the calmest human in the . It's hard though, so hard.
"Alright. You two take care, alright? If anything, call me. And keep your phone , please." He says, and I nod my head.
As Angel gets down from the bed, I steal a small kiss from Andy, and I get the of peeping into his beautiful eyes. Unfortunately, I don't think I did any with my acting. The qualms and worries are there in his eyes, and I his gaze.
He grabs my hand when I turn to leave with Angel in my other hand, making me to him.
"You want to tell me something?" He asks, scanning my eyes.
I was right. He didn't fall for my lies, but even now, I have to make an effort and up my lies. I would rather have him worried or keep him speculating rather see him in shambles.
"Mmh, maybe that, I love you so much? You know that, don't you?" That is all I come up with, bred with a phony smile that must surely seem genuine because matter how or when I say those words to him, they will always portray the same weight and meaning - the real authentic meaning of love.
A small smile flashes on his lips confirming that he has warmed up to that, but inside, I know I can't fool him. He knows me way too much to fall for this , but at least I can confuse him with my love even just for a minute.
"Only that?" He asks.
"Yes. You don't want me to rant so much in front of our daughter, right?" I tease, feeling like an idiot.
He chuckles a little, an inaudible chuckle that confuses me.
"Alright. Take care." He says, and releases my hand.
Just like that? No "I love you too"? Nothing else except a stern stare as I leave him ? Maybe he is mad because he can sense something odd yet I am concealing it him. More annoying is how I am striving to cover it with obvious lies.
All the same, he is my Andy. He will exonerate me when he learns why I had to do . Love is greater than anything, and it conquers all. Ours is a good criterion of . The battle is still on, but we are still fighting alongside each other. We have given up and we are never giving up. Nothing has torn us apart until now, and ever will. For better or for worse, until eternity, we will be one, and .
I descend the stairs with Angel in my hand almost shuffling my legs. I am having incoherent weird feeling. But who wouldn't be with all that I am carrying and that is going on? No single human! I am even amazed that I am still with all these choking burdens, but there is no room for giving up. I must this or win! There is absolutely no option!
I spot the witch standing at the doorway, and we stroll straight there with my child
- yes, mine, and this I am going to defend like I gave birth to. We are solely not by the past, but by the present. You are not crowned as a parent for just birth, but for parenting. She gave birth, but abandoned the poor kid for her reasons until now. I stepped in and embraced the innocent kid. I am more to be her mother than her. Angel is MINE! I'm not giving her up.
"What in the world took you so long?" She barks, and the little girl snuggles to me fear, holding my hand tight. That is how much she hates her mother.
"We are already here, so quit the unwarranted yelling and let's go." I say calmly, angel gently outside towards the gate where, wait...
The Limo?
Why on earth do we have to haul a limo to the park? What happened to the BMW we normally use? Besides, I don't think Andy allowed this.
"Who authorised you to use this? We don't need this, Maria!" I state.
"It's me who makes the rules and the decisions here, remember? And that jerk of authorised it, else your chauffeur wouldn't have dared to pull it out of the , don't you think?" She fires sarcastically.
Well, she sure is right. Mark wouldn't dare do something behind Andy. He knows well, and he fears him like everyone else does - even more. But still, why Andy allow us to drive the limo to the park, huh?
"Will you get in, Tania, and stop wasting my time, please? It's getting late, and you I have a lot to tell each other, or have you forgotten?" She says.
Oh, wow! She is even holding the door for me? This is...weird? Odd! So odd!
As much as I feel odd, and as much as I want to call Andy out here and confirm , I find myself dragging my legs inside the black-tilted limo. I don't want Angel be more spooked than she already is. As I settle inside beside this bitch, I try to the paranoia aside and hold on tight to my daughter, albeit with a racing and heart.
The locks of the limo clicks, and we pull out of the open gate. Surprisingly, Mark not stop to lock the gate behind us like he usually does, and for the first time, forgot the direction of the park. The Limo takes the opposite direction to the we always use, and it's speeding up savagely.
I tense, really bad! My heart is about to burst with fear and the high rate at which 's pounding.
I sense danger! Nothing seems right at all! Everything is just terrifyingly odd!
I fish my phone slowly without causing any alarm, I don't even blink, and dial
Andy's number. I put the speaker volume to zero, and drop it on the seat between and Angel. I hope against all odds that he picks up the phone.
"Where are we going, Maria? This...tell Mark to turn around?" I yell.
"He won't do that." She smirks, the dangerous look in her eyes confirming my .
She is making a move!
I begin to shake as I tighten my grip on Angel.
"Why? Where are you taking us, Maria?" I scream?
"To a place where the end of my wrath for you and Adrian begins." She bursts out loud like a crazy maniac, her laughter filling the entire limo.
I give up on her and try to get some clue from Mark, banging continuously on the tilted mirror separating the driver from us.
"Mark! Mark! Open up, Mark! Take us back home! Mark! Ma...!"
Finally, the tilted mirror goes down, revealing the shock and nightmare behind the .
I jerk myself back to the seat, cold chills filling my entire being, making me go .
"Da... Damian!?"