“You’re right but I still can’t stop worrying,” I replied followed by a loud sigh.
My mind felt so bogged down with various heavy thoughts as we drove to a nearby hotel. Ace remained silent as if he was giving me time to recover from the shock. I was thinking of so many things all at once that it made it hard for me to focus. The unbearable feeling of guilt made it very clear to me that I had to do something to change the situation before it became too late. I didn’t like to regret the decisions that I’ve made, but at that moment, I began regretting my choice of moving to the big city and away from home.
It felt like a necessity at the time when I was chasing money just to make ends meet for both me and my mother. Then it was about chasing my dream career so that I would get to do what I wanted to do with my life. My mother had been nothing but supportive of ever since I was very young, and she was still supportive of me up until today. She never complained and always put me first. Somewhere along the lines, I created too much distance between us while I was too busy chasing my own ambitious dreams.
I started dating Ace and my life became so entwined with his that in the end, I didn’t have much time to come home. Putting the blame on Ace or anything else wasn’t right at all because all I had to blame really was myself. The fear that it might be too late if I delayed my decision any longer was the factor that gave me the last push required for me to make the decision that I should have made quite some time ago.
“Ace…” I called his name suddenly to get his attention.
“Hmm?” Ace made a curious sound as he kept his eyes on the road.
“Is that offer still on the table?” I asked as I felt my heart beat faster in my chest.
“What offer?” he asked like he wasn’t sure what I was talking about.
“The job offer. The offer for me to join your company. Do you still need someone in design?” I asked before biting on my lower lip.
It did occur to me that since it had been a while, Ace might not be looking for someone for that position anymore. Since his company had just started out and the team size was small, I wasn’t sure if he was still interested in hiring me.
“Of course, it is. Are you sure that you’ve thought this through properly?” he asked as he glanced my way.
“I don’t know. I just feel like all of this happened because I was taking too long hesitating,” I replied honestly.
“What happened to your mother is more like an accident. You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Ace reminded me again.
“I don’t know about that. I keep thinking that things might have turned out differently if I had been there or if I had been nearby. I could have helped her or be at her side to support her sooner...” I said sadly.
“Rina. It’s not your fault,” he said firmly.
“Anyways, I think that it might be better if I’m closer to her. If I quit my job and move to work with you then at least, I’ll be closer to her during the day,” I explained what I had in mind.
“That doesn’t sound bad but what about your work at your current job?” Ace asked.
Even though I had been thinking about the tradeoff on and off for so long, the answer didn’t become so clear to me until that moment.
“I think that I’ll be happier doing what you and your team are doing. Maybe I’ve had enough of the normal traditional commercials already,” I confessed.
“If you’re sure then you can let me know when you want to start,” he said supportively.
“You don’t sound so surprised with my decision,” I noted.
“Because I’m not. If you want, we should just move to live around here for a while. We’ll be closer to the office and also closer to your mother,” Ace suggested, and it made perfect logical sense.
“Are you sure that you’re fine with that?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be? Honestly, the only reason that we’re still living in the city is because you work there. I don’t want you commuting so far every day when you don’t even have a car,” Ace pointed out.
“But are you really fine with moving?” I asked in disbelief.
I grew up in this neighborhood and I was used to living away from the big city, but I wasn’t sure if the same could be said about Ace. If we moved, we would no longer be staying at his place either. For a moment I was surprised how relaxed and casual Ace seemed to be about this while I considered it to be a big change for us.
“Why not? It’s nice and peaceful out here. We can relax better, and it feels like fewer people are watching our every move. I focus more on work and it’s closer to my office,” he replied smoothly.
“But…” I murmured without knowing what else to say.
“I guess it was the right decision to build the office around here,” Ace said before letting out a soft chuckle.
“Did you foresee this happening or something?” I asked curiously.
“Not exactly but I was thinking of moving out of the city for a bit and thought that it might be nice to be close to your mother,” he explained.
“But what if you don’t like it here or if things don’t work out?” I asked worriedly.
“What won’t work out? By the way, I like it here just fine,” he replied confidently.
“If that’s what you say…” I muttered.
I guess he did have many valid points and it seemed to make sense. Honestly, I didn’t know what else to say and perhaps that was because there was no need to. Just like that, we made the big decision to move to my old neighborhood.
--To be continued…