It’s still dark when I wake up. Turning my head, I look to the spot next to me. Empty.
Bothered that Rebel was so affected by my comment, which seemed so innocuous at the time, I leave the warmth of his bed behind to seek him out. If Rebel won’t come to me, I’ll go to him.
Soft music plays in the background as I enter the living room. Casting my gaze around the room, I almost don’t see Rebel at first. He’s slumped down in the recliner, his dark head barely peeking past the top of the brown leather. One arm hangs off the side of the chair, and in his hand his loose fingers barely hold on to a tumbler with less than a half inch of scotch at its base. A soft moan carries over the music, and I realize he’s lost in a bad dream.
I go to him, my nose taking in the spicy scent of the alcohol’s rich perfume—one that I’ve come to associate with him. Having ditched my shoes long ago, my bare feet make no sound on the hard wood floors. I’m thankful for thatbecause when I get close enough to see over the top of the chair, my world stops.
Horror washes through every cell in my body as I watch the red mop of hair move between his spread thighs. I know the shade instantly. Can place the face and name without pause. Here I thought Rebel was drowning his sorrows in booze, when he was getting sucked off by this tramp.
He lied to me. I asked Rebel flat out if there was anyone else, and he denied it. It’s a total slap in the face, and it’s breaking my fucking heart.
How can he do this to me? How could he invite this woman over while I slept in his bed and do…that?
I am beyond disgusted. Beyond humiliated. Beyond everything. Not wanting to interrupt, wanting absolutely no part of what is going on, I back away slowly. When I’ve placed a safe distance between us, I spin around and rush back to Rebel’s room.
I don’t make it there.
Just as I reach Ransom’s door, it opens, and he steps into my path, blocking my escape. Surprised to see me there, he begins to apologize, but one look at my face and his expression hardens. “What did he do?”
“He—he brought her here.” My voice trembles and I realize that I am on the verge of crying. I can’t allow myself the luxury of doing that. Not here, not in front of them. I won’t allow my emotions to overtake me. I won’t.
Filling my lungs, I close my eyes and force it all back down. There’s no room in my life for weakness. Not now, not ever. Once I’ve regained control, I open my eyes to find Ransom glaring down at me.
His anger’s not directed at me, though. Oh, no. As he lifts his eyes and stares over my head with a deadly calmI’ve only ever seen in his brother’s eyes, I know I’m not the person he’s thinking of now. “Go in my room and shut the door,” he says with more of that terrifying calm that invites no argument. “Don’t come out, no matter what you hear.”
I step sideways into the room, watching him the entire time. I’m scared. I don’t like where this is leading. I’m upset and hurt and angry, but I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, especially not over me. “What are you going to do?”
“What I should have done a long time ago.”
Whatever that means, but I can tell by the look on his face that Ransom isn’t open to any more questions. I close the door softly and back away from it until my knees hit something soft and I drop down to sit on the edge of his bed.
The door is nothing but a rectangle of shadow outlined by an even darker shade of gray from the lack of light. In the absolute quiet, all I can hear is the steady drum of my heart and the low hum of voices coming from the other room.
I can’t make out actual words or who they belong to and my imagination fills in the details. They’re probably fighting, over me, over her, I don’t know, but with the way Ransom spoke before he left, it’s the only sensible option. Still, the shouting I expected never comes. The longer the silence goes on, the more I hate myself. I’m causing a rift between these brothers. I’m tearing a family apart. What kind of person am I that I am willing to ruin lives to satisfy my libido?
My nose tingles and my eyes water, but I manage to hold back the tears. When I hear the bump of the front door closing, I suck in a breath and hold it. The waiting seems to take forever. I don’t know what to expect or who will walk through that door.
When it finally opens, it takes me a moment to assess the man who comes inside. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that he’s wearing a white t-shirt and boxers.
I shoot off the bed and rush to Ransom. “What happened? Is everything okay?” It’s so dark in here that no matter how hard I strain to see his eyes, it’s impossible to read him. “You didn’t kill anyone, did you?”
Grasping my wrists, he breaks the hold I have on the front of his shirt and sets me away. I pivot on my heel and follow him back to the bed. Sitting down on the edge of it, Ransom drops his head in his hands and releases a heavy breath.
“Everything is fine now. I kicked her out.” He curses under his breath. “I can’t believe he did that. With you here?” He shakes his head, at a loss for words.
I know exactly how he feels. I can’t erase the image of Florence on her knees. Even though the angle prevented me from seeing much, my brain was more than able to fill in the missing details.
Dropping down next to him, I clasp my hands together, pinning them between my knees. “What did he say?”
“Not much,” Ransom laughs humorlessly. “He’s pretty drunk. In fact, he was passed out cold when I found him. I tried to wake him up so I could punch his lights out, but I couldn’t get much from him. He was pretty out of it. I’m not even sure he knew what was happening.”
“Well, I hope he remembers it in the morning,” I grumble because I intend to plant my fist in his balls and I want him to know why it’s happening.
“I doubt it. Not that I want to sound like I’m on his side, because I’m not, but from what I saw, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Florence might have taken advantage of him.”
I’m floored by his statement, but as I sit and think about it, I begin to feel a little better. It’s marginal, but it’s a hell of a lot better scenario to stomach than the alternative. My anger toward Rebel lessens as my hatred for Florence grows.
“That said, it doesn’t absolve him of responsibility or guilt.” Turning his head, Ransom assesses me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I say, waving him off. It’s a lie, but I don’t want him thinking I’m some fragile creature that needs saving. I’m not. I’ve already proven that I can handle life’s many pitfalls. It just happens that I’ve fallen into a few of them recently.
“Really? Because I don’t think you are.” Passing me his charming smile, Ransom bumps his shoulder into mine. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know? It’s okay to lean on people when you need to.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I have big shoulders.”
Despite my mood, I find myself laughing. The moment fades quickly, and then I am huddling into myself. I’m already depressed and I haven’t forgotten how he treated me this week. “Why are you so concerned all of a sudden?”
“Excuse me?” Ransom asks, his forehead creasing.
“You haven’t said a single word to me for days, but when you find me with Rebel, you freak out. And now this.” I lift my arm toward the door, indicating the confrontation that just happened. “I don’t know what to do with all of it.”
Ransom stares at the floor, contemplating his response. When he finally speaks, his words are slow and lacking their usual confidence. “I guess…sometimes it just takes something drastic to make you open your eyes and see the full picture. Seeing you with Rebel today did that for me.”
My head hurts. It feels as if I’m in the middle of a game of tug-o-war and I’m the rope. Rubbing my eyes, I try to wrap my head around the week’s events. First Rebel embarrasses me in front of his family, and then he claims me for his own. Ransom writes me off because I’m not what he expected, and then after witnessing me give his brother a blow job, seems to have experienced a change of heart.
Am I missing something here?
“So you’re saying seeing your brother come down my throat made you realize how much you want me? That’s fucked up.”
Hanging his head, Ransom chuckles. “Yeah, I guess it is. But that doesn’t make it any less true, Joe.” Turning his head, he looks at me over one broad shoulder, those midnight orbs pleading. “I needed some time to wrap my head around what you…do, but I’m okay with it now.”
“Call me crazy, but I don’t want to be with someone who is ‘okay’ with it. There’s nothing wrong with what I do. It’s an honest living.”
“I know it is. It was a shock, Joe. I didn’t expect it, and it took me a little while to come to terms with it, but I’m not mad or upset and I’m not judging your choices.”
“You could have fooled me,” I mutter.
“I’m done fighting, Joe,” Ransom warns, his tone firm. “I’ve missed you these last few days. It’s been hell seeing you every day and not being able to talk to you or touch you.”
“That was your choice,” I point out, my ire peaked. I can’t lie and tell him I’m okay with his decision to cut me loose without explanation.
“Yes, it was, and I’m sorry.” Leaning sideways, he places his chin on my shoulder, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. “Forgive me?”
The gesture leaves me feeling conflicted. Lifting my chin, I refuse to look at him. “That’s the lamest apology I’ve ever heard.”
Turning his head, he presses his lips the side of my neck. Instantly, a fission of electricity shoots down my spine. “I’m sorry I was an idiot.”
“You were also an ass,” I add, a small smile beginning to take shape.
“That too. I’m only a man, Joe,” he says, reaching up to take hold of my chin. “A simple creature in need of guidance. Won’t you guide me, Joe? Teach me to be better.”
Goddammit, I am not falling for this am I?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Angling my face toward his, Ransom touches his lips to mine. They’re firm, demanding, and they tell me exactly where this is headed. Snaking his arm around my waist, Ransom draws me onto his lap. Complying, I straddle him, wrapping my arms around his neck, giving myself over to him.
Sex doesn’t fix everything, but it sure as hell makes it more fun to deal with.
Lying back on the mattress, I follow Ransom down. As we kiss and touch one another, I can’t help comparing him to Rebel. Ransom is gentler. He takes his time with me, exploring my mouth and body as though he wants to learn all of me and has all the time in the world to do it, whereas Rebel attacks, as if he can’t get close to me fast enough.
Ransom’s calloused hands sneak beneath my shirt, gliding up the sides of my ribcage to cup my breasts. He kneads them, his thumbs stroking across my nipples until they become stiff points. My hips rock against his pelvis and I feel his hard length between my thighs, pressing against me, teasing me.
Suckling my tongue, I moan into Ransom’s mouth and dive deeper into the kiss. My tongue explores his, touching and tasting, tantalizing. Making an impatient sound in the back of his throat, Ransom tugs at my shirt. Sitting up, I lift my arms and he rises up to meet me.
As soon as the material clears my head, Ransom seizes control of my mouth. In this, he and Rebel are the same—they are dominate lovers.
Helping each other out of the rest of our clothing, we fall back on the bed. Wrapping me in his arms, Ransom rolls us over so he is on top. My legs part and he fills the cradle I’ve provided as though he was made to be there.
Nudging my nose with his, his eyes seem to smile back at me. “You’re unbelievably gorgeous.”
My cheeks heat with the compliment. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he purrs, dropping his head to kiss my lips. “Now tell me something flattering about me.”
My lips split into a grin around his. “You have a fantastic ass.” Reaching down, I dig my fingers into both cheeks for emphasis.
Ransom rocks against me, laughing as he buries his face into the crook of my neck and playfully bites the sensitive skin. I squeal and squirm, laughing along with him.
This.
This is why I love being with Ransom. He knows how to make me laugh. I don’t have to pry a smile from him because it comes so easily on its own. He can be moody, and he can be a dick, but he’s also incredibly forgiving and fun to be around.
I feel lighter with him somehow.
We sober as our parts rub together, creating delicious friction. That fast, playtime is over. Holding eye contact, Ransom tunnels a hand between us. Taking himself in hand, he slowly pushes into me.
Staring into his eyes as he enters my body is an unforgettable experience. It’s sensual in a way that I have trouble describing, even to myself. At this moment, I feel completely connected to this man. All our troubles seem to melt away leaving only us behind to enjoy the multitude of pleasures our bodies can bring each other.
Like we did in the backseat of my car, Ransom makes love to me. His moves are unhurried. The way his arms cage me in and his hands brush my hair from my face is tender and fills me with a divine feeling of satisfaction.
This is something I’ve never experienced with Rebel. Not like this anyway. I have no idea if it’s something he even knows how to do. Tender isn’t a word I would ever use to describe him or how he is with me. Rebel makes me tremble, plays my body with expert precision, even as he pushes me to the brink of insanity.
He demands a lot from me, knowing I’ll give it without question or hesitation. Just as a coin has two sides, he can be cruel and he can be caring. He doesn’t treat me with kid gloves. He looks into my eyes and he sees what lies beneath the surface. He recognizes the person inside who craves what he can deliver. He gives everything to me and more, sometimes pushing boundaries I never thought I’d cross and at the end of it all, he still manages to provide what’s necessary to make me feel safe and cared for.
Rebel is ruthless. He knows what he wants and he takes it. He makes no apologies for his behavior. What you see is what you get. I both love and hate that about him.
Ransom is different. For all their similarities, he couldn’t be more opposite from his brother. He treats me like I am breakable, like I’m something to be cherished. Something to be savored. When he kisses me, it feels like a bolt to my heart.
They’ve both hurt me. They’ve both humiliated me. And they’ve both loved me in their own twisted way.
Both of these men feed something inside of me, but only one man can fulfill my needs. Only one of them has shown me that he is more than what we set out to be—anonymous lovers. That I’m more than a quick roll between the sheets, but someone worth fighting for.
It’s in this moment, as Ransom’s thrusting hips grow more frenzied and disjointed, that I realize I’ve found the answer I’ve been looking for.
I know exactly which brother is right for me. Turning my face up, I claim Ransom’s mouth with such ferocity and passion that it sends him spiraling into an orgasm so powerful his back arches. Tearing his mouth from mine, Ransom throws his head back and roars his release.
Collapsing on top of me, I pet his hair and sweat dampened skin until he relieves me of his weight and rolls onto his back. Pulling the blankets over us, I wait until his breaths even out before I slip quietly from the bed and out of his room.