[Maddie’s POV]
Emily's mouth is on mine the next moment, soft and insistent, and for once I'm not cataloging the mechanics. I pull back slightly, hands on her shoulders. "Hey," I say quietly. "I need to say something before we—before this."
She sits up slightly, concern flickering across her face—because of course she’s concerned for me. My chest aches. "Okay. What is it?"
"I know I've been stubborn. Coming out to my parents—losing them—it's been harder than I thought. I keep thinking I should be fine by now…" I trail off, looking down on my hands, trying to be sincere and sound as apologetic as I feel.
Emily's hands find mine, fingers lacing through. She squeezes them gently. "Maddie, you don't have to be—"
"Let me finish," I say softly. "I've been spiraling about whether I'm good enough, whether I deserve this." I gesture between us. "Whether I deserve you. And I know that's been hard on you."
"You do deserve this," Emily says fiercely, her eyes are shining with unshed tears when I look up. "You deserve everything."
"I'm trying to believe that." I squeeze her hands. "I'm trying to work through it. I just need you to know I'm trying."
Emily pulls me closer, forehead against mine. "I know you are. And I'm not going anywhere. However long it takes."
Something in my chest loosens. I nuzzle my nose against hers, and she chuckles. "You sure about that?"
"Completely sure." She kisses me softly. "I love you. All of you. Including the stubborn parts."
I laugh, and it feels genuine. "Even when I'm being impossible?"
"Especially then." She grins. "Makes the sex more satisfying when you finally relax." Her smile turns mischevious, and my stomach feels with warmth.
"Oh really?" I push her back onto the bed, watching her eyes darken. "Is that so?" I lick my lips, watching as she follows my movement with her eyes.
"Yeah." Her hands slide under my shirt. "Really. Trust me on this." This time when I kiss her, I'm present. Actually here. Her lips are soft, her tongue sliding against mine, and I feel it—the warmth, the want, the connection.
Her hands reach for the hem of my shirt and I catch her wrists, pressing them firmly against the mattress above her head. She makes a surprised sound, but when I pull back, her eyes are dark and wanting.
"Keep them there," I say, and she nods, biting her lip. Good. This way I control the choreography, keep her focused on pleasure instead of trying to fix whatever she thinks is broken in me.
I kiss down her neck, brain running through the steps like a competition program. Collarbone, sternum, the soft skin between her breasts.
Her breathing picks up, exactly on cue. I pull her shirt over her head, guide her arms back up, establishing the boundary again.
"Maddie," she breathes, desperate and wanting. I file it under 'working as intended' and continue.
I unhook her bra—no drunk fumbling this time—and take one nipple into my mouth while my hand cups the other. She arches up, exactly like always, and I increase pressure, reading her body's signals like judges' scores.
"Oh god," Emily gasps when I scrape teeth lightly over the sensitive peak. Her hands flex above her head but stay where I put them. She trusts me, which means I'm performing correctly.
I work down her stomach, kisses loving and reverent. At her waistband, I look up. Her face is flushed, lips parted, eyes half-closed. I commit it to memory—the way she looks right now, wanting me—because some part knows I might not see this again. "Can I?" I ask, fingers hooked in her jeans.
"Please," she says, lifting her hips. "Please, Maddie." I strip her bare in one smooth motion, leaving her spread out on my bed. She's beautiful like this—vulnerable and trusting and completely mine. I settle between her thighs, pressing kisses to soft skin while she squirms. "Stop teasing," Emily complains breathlessly. "You're being mean."
"I'm building anticipation. Very important technical distinction." I bite gently at her inner thigh before finally putting my mouth on her, tongue sliding through her folds to circle her clit.
She's wet and ready, and I fall into the familiar rhythm—broad strokes with my tongue, focused pressure, then backing off before she gets too close.
Her hands grip the sheets, knuckles white. "Don't stop," she gasps. "God, please don't stop."
I don't. I keep going with methodical precision. When I slide two fingers inside her, she cries out, hips rocking up. I curl my fingers to find the spot that makes her fall apart, tongue still working her clit in steady circles.
"Maddie, I'm—" Her voice breaks, body tensing, and then she's coming, clenching around my fingers, my name on her lips like a prayer. I keep moving through it, gentler now, until she's gasping and pushing at my head.
I wipe my mouth and move up to kiss her, sharing her own taste. She kisses back languidly, boneless. But then her hands find my face and she says, "Again."
"Greedy," I say, already moving back down.
"Can you blame me? You're really good at this." I am. I've studied Emily like I study triple axels—practiced until perfect. So I do it again, taking her apart with fingers and tongue until she's thrashing, coming so hard she nearly kicks me.
When I crawl back up, Emily is gasping like she just skated a four-minute program. "Holy shit. That was—you're—holy shit."
"Eloquent," I say, and she laughs breathlessly. Her hands reach for me and I let her because refusing would require explanation. She strips my clothes off with clumsy enthusiasm, still shaky, and settles between my legs.
When Emily's mouth finds me, when her fingers slide inside, I can’t help the sounds, tearing from my throat. Gasps when she curls her fingers just right, moan when her hot tongue licks my clit with broad stroke. Arching my back, when she sucks and I feel on the verge of orgasm.
The orgasm builds from my gut, curling my toes and making my eyes roll into my head. When it hits, I make noise, moaning loudly, my muscles clench and unclench violently, while the release rushes over me. I love her, the thought swims into my head. I truly love her.
Emily collapses beside me, pulling me close with satisfied contentment. Her skin is warm, slightly sweaty, and she makes soft happy sounds. I curl into her because that's what she expects, fitting myself against her body like a jigsaw piece that doesn't quite match.