Lviv greets me with cloudy weather, just like my mood. I exit the terminal and head to the taxi I had called in advance. I stand and greedily inhale the raw air, trying to feel at home, but it doesn't happen.
Instead, I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I am not where I should be, as if detached from reality.
As we drive through the city, heading to the necessary address, I continually replay all the moments of yesterday's meeting with Andriy in my mind. My chest still burns with fire and probably won't change anytime soon, but I need to control myself and move on.
When I finally open the door to my apartment, where I have lived since finishing university, my heart feels a bit lighter. The familiar walls should help, at least a little. I count on that.
Without thinking, I head to the kitchen and make tea, then go to the bathroom and turn on the water. I decided that a warm bath, after such a long journey and the last morally and physically exhausting days, will have not only a relaxing but also a healing effect.
And it turns out to be true, after the bath, my body is completely relaxed and pleasantly heavy, my eyes are sticky, and I have no energy left to think, which is only for the better. So I go to my bedroom, crawl under the warm blanket, and exhale blissfully. Sleep overcomes me instantly, securely wrapping me in its embrace.
In the morning, I wake up much more energetic, with a clear plan of further actions in my head. So I dress, put on some makeup, and call a taxi.
Soon, I entered the office. I greet the girls, noting their surprised looks. Of course, we scarcely had time to work together before I had to go on a business trip to the Kraków office.
This memory painfully throbs in my chest, but I force myself to push away all the negativity. After all, I have made a firm decision, which at this moment seems to me the only correct one.
I entered the HR department. The girls share the room with ladies from accounting. I briefly greet everyone. We exchange a few words with colleagues, and then I state my reason for coming.
" Milana, tell me honestly, are you resigning because of that unsuccessful story with the boss? " our accountant, Natalia, bluntly asks, staring at me with wide eyes.
I just sigh and press my lips together. Ultimately, I was prepared for something like this, as since the time Andriy and I spent in the hospital, news had reached here too, though not in as catastrophic dimensions as in Poland. I decided to tell a half-truth:
" Not entirely. It's just one of the reasons. I...um...decided to take a break from my career, " seeing that Natalia definitely needs more information, I put an end to the questions. " For now, yes, and we'll see what happens next.
Valeriya from the HR department accepts my resignation, and I see Natalia cooking up another question. It's just about to burst out. Luckily, my phone rings. I smile apologetically.
" Alright, ladies, all the best to you, but I have to run. " I pull out my phone and point to it. " I have other matters to attend to.
" Okay, yes, " Natalia draws out in disappointment. " Goodbye, Milana.
I nod my head in farewell and leave the office. I answer the call and slowly walk down the corridor to the exit:
" Yes, Dad, hello. Glad to hear you, " I smile involuntarily.
" Milana, thank God, " my father's concerned voice means my parents have found out everything.
I was so disoriented at first and worried about Andriy's condition afterward that I decided not to worry them prematurely, or at least not until I figured out what was happening. Knowing them both, they would have arrived in Wrocław on the next flight. I sigh. There's no escaping the questions now.
" How are you? Where are you, daughter?
" Dad, " I elongate soothingly, hoping to interrupt his stream of questions. " Everything's alright. Don't worry. I'm already in Lviv.
There's a brief silence, then Dad finally dryly says:
" Glad to hear your sense of humor is intact.
I puff at Dad's sarcasm and unconsciously stop, passing by the door to Andriy's office. I stand silently for a moment, then, for the last time, glance at the plaque with his name, turn away, and leave.
Once outside, I finally greedily inhale the air and respond to my dad, patiently waiting on the other end of the line:
" Dad, I'm sorry it turned out this way. Really. But I didn’t want to worry you and Mom, especially since I was still recovering from the shock myself.
" You weren't hurt, sweetheart? " Dad accepts my explanations. His concern for me exceeds his anger.
" Nothing critical. Got off with just a few scratches, " I say.
" That's good, " he exhales. " So what now? What are you planning? Maybe you'll come to stay with us for a while?
" No, dad, " I blurt out too hastily. I definitely have no desire to travel anywhere else. Not at all, thank you. Right now… Now, to pull myself together. Plus, I have no intention of spoiling a trip for my parents. " I haven't really decided yet. I thought of taking a break for a while to gather my thoughts... I just resigned from this company, so I'll have quite a bit of free time.
" Hmm, " Dad’s thoughtful silence lets me guess that he doesn't believe these tales, but he tolerantly keeps silent. " Well, I understand that after such an event you need time, but Milana... You can always come to work at our company. I think a change of scenery would do you good.
Something in my father’s tone lets me know he suspects that I resigned not just because of that incident, but something else…
" I’ll think about it, Dad, " I say emphatically. " Well, my taxi has arrived, " I blatantly lie, but right now, I don’t have the desire to discuss forbidden topics. " Say hi to Mom and give her a big hug for me. I'll call from home, okay.
" Okay, Milanochka. Take care of yourself, daughter.
I ended the call. This little lie scrapes uncomfortably in my chest, but it’s better this way. So I ordered a taxi and slowly wandered down the street, waiting for the car.