The last few days have been a complete mess. I’ve had to fight every urge to go into the other wing of the house and claim Caterina, trying to make up for my earlier jerk behavior. The things I said in that moment—damn, I wish I could take them back. After everything she’s been through with her ex, I was way out of line. I’m an idiot, and behaving like that is par for the course for me.
It would’ve been different with anyone else, but Caterina is not just anyone. I know I shouldn’t want her. I know we shouldn’t continue what happened that night, and that pushing her away was the right call. She probably thinks the worst of me, and frankly, I don’t blame her. Logically, I should know better, but right now, I just don’t give a damn.
I don’t regret what happened between us. But that doesn’t make it right. No matter how much I try to distance myself or push her away, I know deep down she will eventually be mine.
“The funds have been wired, and I’ve got confirmation from the seller. The planes are ours. Thank God for that. We’re already getting inquiries from the Miami suppliers. They need to offload their latest shipment.”
Leaning back in my chair, I swirl the scotch in my glass and let out a satisfied smile. “Great. We’ll send Carlo and Tony down there to inspect the shipment.”
Roger quirks an eyebrow, looking up at me from his tablet. “You think they’ll be okay with that? I’m normally the one who goes.”
“I have other work for you to do. Carlo and Tony know what to look out for.”
Roger appears suspicious. “What type of work?”
“I’m still ironing out the details.” I trust Roger with my life. We’ve been through hell and back together, but his question sets my teeth on edge. “Since when do you question me?”
“It’s not about questioning you. You know I like to be prepared.”
Of course, I know that. He didn’t mean anything.
There’s no reason for my skin to feel uncomfortable. My feelings right now have nothing to do with him. No, this has to do with something else entirely. I’m an addict who promised himself he’d go cold turkey because it seemed easy at the time. My addiction? Caterina and everything about her, the taste of her pussy being at the top of the list.
A normal man might be able to deal with it. Not me. I’m on edge, and I have access to too many guns for this to end without somebody taking a bullet for looking at me the wrong way.
“I’ll fill you in when the time comes.” I don’t bother apologizing, and he knows better than to expect it. “For now, get the boys up to speed on the details about Miami.”
He nods and, thankfully, doesn’t question me further. It’s been torture, wanting more than anything to make it up to her while forcing myself to steer clear at the same time.
The wounded expression she wore before running from the office still haunts me. I’m a fucking asshole. I scrub a hand down my face, my frustrations mounting. I have more important shit to be worried about, an entire fucking company to run. Putting distance between us is the right thing, but somehow, it feels like torture.
Roger returns to his task list, murmuring to himself as he makes notes and delegates duties while I turn my attention to the security feed playing across my laptop screen. I’m setting myself up for failure by watching like an obsessed stalker for her to return home.
She usually parks her beat-up Corolla in the front courtyard, but it’s been gone since this morning.Where does she go? From what I remember, her job doesn’t start for another few days.
Irrational rage eats at my insides. She’d better not be disappearing to escape a run-in with me or worse, to be with another man.
Could you blame her if she did?
My hand closes around my glass hard enough that my joints ache, and the pain forces me to take a breath. A man in my position can’t afford to fall apart, not even over a pussy whose taste and aroma have claimed ownership of my soul.
It’s her soul I’m fighting for now. She doesn’t need my darkness destroying her light. Every degrading thing I’ll have no choice but to do to her once I’ve started. There will be no going back once I’ve claimed her fully. I won’t be able to stop myself.
Leave her alone. Do the right thing for once.
No matter how I fight to keep it together, my chest tightens at the sweeping of headlights over the dark courtyard. She’s home, and t feels like I can breathe again.Pathetic.I never felt this pull with my ex-wife or any of the nameless women I’ve fucked before now, so I’m out of my element here.