Lena's POV
The school library is nearly empty by four-thirty, just me and a few studiers scattered among tables. I picked the computer in the back corner deliberately, the one with the privacy screen.
I pull up the university's payment portal and log in with trembling fingers. The tuition page loads, and I stare at the number that's haunted me.
I had the money deposited already. All I need to do is complete some of my registration and pay online.
I haven't told Mom yet. Can't tell her, not really. The plan is to pay what I need with this money, then tell her it was a fully funded scholarship. She'll be so happy, so relieved, and she'll never have to know what I did to make it possible.
The thought of Noah and Evan makes my stomach twist. Embarrassment floods through me. I know I like them. Both of them.
The way Noah stood between me and Trent. The way Evan smiled at me in the cafeteria. The way they both looked at me in that hotel room, like I mattered.
But I did sleep with them for money. No matter how they frame it, that's what happened.
I took money and slept with two brothers and now I can't look at either of them without feeling ashamed. The only way I can get through the day is to avoid them completely.
Don't make eye contact. Don't respond. Act like they don't exist, because if I acknowledge them, I have to acknowledge what I did.
That's why I'm being mean to them, and I hate myself for it.
I'm clicking through the payment screens when arms wrap around me from behind. I nearly jump out of my skin, my hand flying to close the laptop, but I'm too slow.
"What's this I'm hearing about Trent and Noah fighting because of you?" Priya's voice is bright in my ear, and my heart drops.
Of all the people who could have caught me, Priya is the worst. She knows about the website, about what I was considering. But she doesn't know I actually went through with it.
I have been avoiding her as well because she knows how to read through me every time.
"Nothing," I say quickly, too quickly, and reach to shut my laptop. My hands are shaking.
But the movement makes her suspicious. Priya straightens up, her smile fading.
"What's up?" she asks, her voice concerned now. "You've been weird since Friday. Weird in a new way. What happened?"
"Nothing happened," I lie. "I'm just stressed about school stuff."
Priya reaches around me and opens my laptop before I can stop her. The screen displays the university payment portal. Registration confirmation. Payment processing.
My name at the top.
I watch Priya's face as understanding clicks. Her expression shifts from confusion to hurt.
"You're paying already?" Her voice is small, wounded. "Why didn't you tell me? I was—" She stops herself, but I know what she was going to say. She was going to try to also help.
Then her face changes as another realization hits. She turns to look at me fully, horror in her eyes.
"Don't tell me," she says, barely above a whisper. "Don't tell me you got this money from that website."
"No," I say immediately, but the lie tastes like metal. "It's not—it's a scholarship, they just—"
"Lena." Priya says my name like a warning. "Did you meet someone from that website?"
The question hangs between us. I open my mouth to lie again, but nothing comes out. The silence stretches too long, becomes its own answer.
She gasps and takes a step back like I've become something she doesn't recognize. The betrayal in her expression is worse than any judgment.
"You did it," she says. "You actually did it. You met some stranger and you—" She can't finish.
"I'm sorry," I say, my voice breaking. "Priya, I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do. I was desperate. I needed the money and I couldn't let it all slip away. Not after everything I worked for."
"So you sold yourself?" Priya's voice is rising now, loud enough that people look over. "You signed up for that website that we both agreed was dangerous, and you actually went through with it without letting me know?"
"It wasn't—" I try to explain about Noah and Evan, about how it wasn't a stranger, about how they were trying to protect me.
But the words tangle because how do I explain that without making it worse? How do I tell her I slept with two brothers from our school and took their money?
"I was desperate," I say instead, and tears burn behind my eyes. "I didn't have any other options. What was I supposed to do? Let my dream die because I couldn't afford it?"
Priya shakes her head, tears in her eyes too.
"You could have told me," she says quietly. "You could have let me help. You could have done literally anything except that."
"There was nothing you could have done," I say, harder than I mean it. "Nothing anyone could have done. This was the only way."
Priya looks at me for one more long moment. Then she shakes her head again and turns to walk away.
"Priya, wait—" I start to stand, but she holds up a hand without turning around.
"I can't," she says, her voice thick. "I can't look at you right now, Lena. I need some time."
Then she's gone, and I'm alone with my laptop and the registration confirmation glowing on the screen.
Something inside me breaks, and I fold forward over the desk.
My shoulders shake with silent sobs, and I press my hand over my mouth.
I paid my tuition. I'm going to college. I achieved my dream.
So why does it feel like I've lost everything that matters?