Sarah and Angel headed to the beach, not the cliffs where they usually went. Sarah wanted to walk on the beach. It wasn’t too crowded for a Saturday. They walked for quite a while and were already on their way back to the car, when Angel brought up his Spanish class woes.
“You don’t know Spanish?” She was completely surprised.
“Well, I thought I was okay at it,” he said. “But according to the scores I’ve been getting on my quizzes, I suck.”
Sarah couldn’t help laughing, despite the agitation she was feeling about the impending conversation. “I can help you.”
Angel turned to her curiously. “You know Spanish?”
“Claro que si.” Of course.
Angel smiled at her, impressed. “Good, because I have a quiz Tuesday, and progress reports go out on Wednesday. If I don’t get higher than a D on my quiz, I’m sitting out the game on Friday.”
Sarah smiled. “I’ll be your private tutor.”
They got to the car and Angel leaned on it, pulling her against him. “Mmm, sounds good.”
Sarah knew she needed to ask him now or she’d have to wait until tomorrow, and she wanted it over with. She took a deep breath. “Speaking of your game, Angel, can I ask you something?”
Angel’s hands moved all over her back. “Of course.”
“Why would Dana be wearing your jersey at the game?” She thought she saw a flicker of panic in his eyes for a second, and then it was gone. He exhaled, glancing away then back at her.
“I don’t know, Sarah,” he said. “I’ve hung out with her in the past, but she’s always made more out of it than it really was.”
Sarah felt something inside her ignite. “Was she your girlfriend?” She was trying so hard not to sound jealous. But she was, completely. She’d heard all the stories from Valerie about him and Dana, but hearing it from him set her on fire.
“No,” he said with conviction. “I told you I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“Have you slept with her?” What the hell? She hadn’t intended on going there, but the words just flew out and they kept coming.
She saw his eyes widen for a second then go back to normal. He rubbed her back gently. “Does it really matter, Sarah?”
Her heart jumped to her throat. She wanted to scream. What had she expected? Why had she let herself fall for him? This was just one girl. How many other girls was she going to have to deal with?
“So she was never your girlfriend. You just slept with her? Is that what you’re planning on doing with me?”
His eyes narrowed, and his expression hardened. “Sarah, as far as I’m concerned, you are my girlfriend. Only reason I hadn’t said it was because I wasn’t sure you took our agreement that way.”
Sarah wouldn’t listen. All she could think of was the fact that he’d slept with Dana, and it made her sick. “Were you exclusive with her?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.
“No, I wasn’t.”
The lump in her throat was beginning to suffocate her. Don’t you dare cry. She tried pulling away from him, but he tightened his grip around her.
“So why does she have your jersey, Angel?” She gulped hard. The words just kept coming, and they wouldn’t stop. “Did you give it to her after you slept with her? How many other girls have your jersey?”
“No one else does.” His voice was too calm. “She borrowed it last year and never gave it back.”
He tried giving her a peck, but she turned away. “What do you wanna hear, Sarah?”
That only heightened her anger. Was he going to humor her now? She squirmed, trying to get away from him, but her struggle was futile. She was no match for his strong arms. She stopped and looked him square in the eye. “I want the truth about you and Dana.”
“There was no me and her,” he insisted. “Even if there had been something, why would I lie?”
“Because maybe you still have feelings for her?”
“What?” His laughter irritated her. “No, babe, the only feelings I have are for you, and they’re big time. She’s got absolutely nothing on you.”
Sarah stared at him, desperately wanting to believe him. But if she hurt this much now only a few weeks into this relationship, how would she deal with anything worse? Being around Angel was doing something to her senses. She could hardly believe how wild her emotions had become. It scared her.
*
Shit! shit! shit! How stupid was he to think Dana’s behavior hadn’t bothered Sarah? Her deliberate attempts to spite Sarah had been undeniable for weeks. The wounded expression on Sarah’s face said it all.
Sarah shook her head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better, Angel.”
Angel glared at her. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I mean this is who you are. This is what your world has always been like. Who am I to think I can fit in somehow? Things like this are going to keep happening, and I don’t think I can handle it. I should’ve never agreed to—”
“Don’t even say it.” He took her hand and put it to his chest. His heart beat so hard he could feel the pulse raging in his throat. “You’re scaring me. I can’t believe you don’t see how crazy I am about you.”
She shook her head. “It’s too hard, Angel. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Please try to put yourself in my place. Would you be able to deal with other guys constantly on me? I don’t know what I was thinking coming into this. I let myself get caught up in all the passion.”
Passion? Is that all this was to her? And what was that other absurdity she’d spat at him? Him deal with other guys on her? Like hell. He stared at her hard, all the while squeezing her hand, and spoke through his teeth.
“What exactly is this to you?”
She turned away for what seemed much too long then finally turned back to him. Her eyes glistened, but she didn’t cry.
“My feelings for you are what have me so terrified,” she said. “If I didn’t care so much, I wouldn’t be backing out now before it’s too late.”
He stared at her in disbelief. Backing out? He felt the panic sear through his body. He searched her eyes for more, but there was nothing.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His heart still hammered away, but he was strangely relieved. “Stop saying that, Sarah. You have nothing to be sorry about. This is my fault, and I intend on fixing it. But I won’t let you back out now, sweetheart. I can’t. It may not be too late for you, but there’s no turning back for me.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then her cheeks, and all around her mouth. “Angel,” she whispered.
He continued to kiss her mouth, her chin. She said her feelings for him terrified her. So he wasn’t alone in this. That’s all he needed to work with. He’d set everything straight on Monday.
“Angel.”
He didn’t want to talk anymore, just hold her and kiss her.
“Angel.” She pulled away. “How are you gonna fix this? So you get rid of Dana, what about all the others?”
He struggled to mask his exasperation. “There are no others, Sarah. Sure I,’ve hung out with others, but ironically, thanks to Dana, not as many as I know you’re thinking. Dana’s been the only thorn in my ass that I haven’t been able to get rid of. Until now, I really had no reason to put any effort into it. I let her do and say whatever she pleased. I didn’t care.”
He kissed her then held her face in his hands. “Trust me, baby. If Dana is gonna cost me being with you, she’s gone. Just like that. I’ll make sure of it.”
A smile slowly lifted the corners of her lips. “Are you gonna have her whacked?”
Angel smiled, relieved at the change in her mood. “I had something a little less violent in mind. But if you want . . .”
Sarah wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his chest. “Just take care of it.”
***
The next day was far less emotional, though thoughts of yesterday’s exchange made things a little tense when he first picked her up. As the hours passed, Sarah seemed a lot better and gave in to her feelings again. They even spent a lustful hour parked in their spot until she had to leave for work.
The night before, she was asleep when Valerie got home, and this morning between talking to Sydney, and Angel picking her up so early, she hadn’t had a chance to talk to her.
Valerie was just out of the shower, and Sarah was finally going to hear about her date with Alex.
She was about to walk out to look for her when Valerie walked in, smiling from ear to ear. Sarah smiled just as big.
“So?”
Valerie did a little dance and closed Sarah’s door. She motioned Sarah toward the bed and sat down next to her.
“I gotta ask you something, Sarah,” she whispered. “Is Angel big? ’Cause Alex is huge. I mean huge.”
Sarah’s jaw dropped. “You slept with him?”
Valerie’s expression was blank. “Of course not.”
Sarah exhaled, relieved.
“I’m on my period,” Valerie said. “How embarrassing would that be?”
Sarah’s expression made Valerie laugh. “Sarah, how long have I been dreaming of this guy? It’s not like I’m a virgin, you know. I slept with Reggie.”
“You did?”
“I was with him for like six months. There’s only so much you can do before you just can’t stand it anymore.”
Sarah could feel her face flush, thinking about the things she and Angel had already done. Valerie eyed her. “Have you even seen Angel's—”
“Shh!” Mortified, Sarah jumped up, walked to the door, and peeked out.
The lights were all out. She tiptoed back as if her footsteps might wake someone. Valerie watched and laughed. “What are you doing?”
Sarah held her finger to her mouth again. She sat down on her bed across from Valerie and leaned over. “Yes, I’ve seen it, and yes, it’s big. But since everything about Alex is bigger, I’m not surprised he’s huge.”
“I haven’t seen that many.” Valerie made a face. “But his puts the few I have to shame. I’m almost afraid it’s gonna hurt.”
Sarah stared at her, still unable to believe what she was hearing. “You’re really gonna do it?”
“Of course,” Valerie said. “Think about it, Sarah. I’m not dumb. I know it’s just a matter of a couple of dates before he moves on to the next girl, and I’m okay with that. But I’ve been lusting over this guy for years. If I blow what may be my only chance to know what it’s like to be with him, do you know how much I’m gonna regret it, looking back years from now?”
Sarah continued to stare at her. She still couldn’t get over how different she and Valerie thought. “Aren’t you afraid of getting pregnant?”
“Nope, I got on the pill when I started going with Reggie,” she said. “And I never got off. I figured better safe than sorry.”
Sarah didn't blink for a few seconds. The curiosity about what Valerie had actually done with Alex was killing her. But the fear of Valerie asking her about her and Angel’s intimacy kept her from asking. As it turned out, she didn’t have to. Valerie made herself comfortable on Sarah’s bed and began telling her. “He is absolutely the best kisser ever.”
Sarah smiled, thinking of Angel’s amazing kisses. She’d never had a conversation like this with a girl, and she liked it. Even though she could talk to Sydney about anything, there were certain things she knew she never would, especially about Angel. It just felt wrong. She had told him about them making out and stuff but left out the details.
Valerie continued. “And oh my God, he’s an animal. From the moment we started kissing, he barely gave me a second to breathe. You’d think with someone like him, who I’m sure can get it anytime he wants, he wouldn’t be so hungry for it.”
“Where were you?” Sarah asked.
“Oh, get this.” Valerie smiled. “Earlier, before we even left the restaurant, I brought up football: you know, asking him how different college was compared to high school. So he gets all into it, telling me about it and said his friend has a lot of it on video and maybe someday he can show me it. So later in the evening, he took me to get sushi, and then we walked on the beach. That’s when he first kissed me—”
“Did you have to stand on something?” Sarah giggled.
Valerie tried to look mad, but her smile gave her away. “If you must know, he was sitting on the brick wall that separates the beach from the walkway when he pulled me to him and said he had to kiss me.”
Sarah grinned.
“Anyway!” Valerie said. “After he kissed me, he wouldn’t stop and started talking about how we should go to his friend’s house to watch the video of him playing. So I said okay. Why not, right? Turns out his friend, who’s not in town, has a bachelor pad not too far from where we were. He left Alex a key. Tell me he didn’t have that one planned.”
Sarah was still trying to picture tiny little Valerie with brawny Alex. He had to be at least 6’4” and looked every bit the linebacker that he was. Valerie was maybe 5’3” and was as petite as they came. “So did you watch the tapes?”
“We started to.” Valerie chewed her nail. “But we hadn’t been on the sofa very long before he was all over me. I swear, if I hadn’t been on my period, I so would’ve gone for it.”
Sarah’s eyes were as big as saucers again. “Did you tell him you were on your period?”
“No way!” Valerie gasped. “I told him I didn’t feel comfortable considering that I’d just met him, which was stupid ’cause next thing you know, I’m on my knees, gagging on his massiveness.”
Sarah covered her face and laughed. “Spare me the visual, please!” She took her hand away from her face. “So, did he ask to see you again?”
“Well, he didn’t last night. But he asked for my number and called this morning, saying he wanted to see me again.”
“You went out with him again already?” Valerie nodded, smiling. “Valerie, maybe he really is into you. You two really seemed to click yesterday.”
“We went right back to his friend’s place, Sarah. The only thing he wants to get into is this.” She pointed at her crotch. “And he will as soon as the curse is gone.”
Sarah looked at her disappointed. Valerie didn’t seem disappointed at all. She crinkled her nose. “Is that my phone?”
She jumped off the bed and ran to her room. She was gone for a few minutes, and Sarah walked to her room to say goodnight. When she got there, Valerie was on her bed, talking on the phone with a big smile on her face. “Alex,” she mouthed, smiling.
Sarah did the Valerie, and ran to listen in, leaning against Valerie’s ear.
“So cancel those plans,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“All right, I guess.”
“You guess?”
Valerie laughed. “I'm kidding, Alex. Yes, that sounds good.”
There was a long silence on the other end; then finally he sighed. “You’re real funny, Z.”
“You’re just too easy.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not,” he said. “I gotta go. I’m up at five tomorrow, but don’t forget.”
“I’ll try.”
“You know what—”
“You see!” She smiled. “Of course, I won’t forget. Better?”
“Much better,” he said. “Good night.”
Sarah watched Valerie flip her phone shut. “You are so bad. He was really getting mad.”
“Nah,” Valerie said. “He knows I like playing with him. He just goes along with it, acting the part.”
“Why’d he call you Z?”
“For Zuniga,” Valerie said. “It’s a football thing, I guess. He says he calls just about all his pals at school by their last names. But I’ve noticed he only does it when I really push his buttons.”
Sarah cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know Valerie. He saw you all weekend, and he’s calling already for another date?” She got off the bed. “And what plans are you canceling?”
“Oh, when he asked if I was busy on Wednesday, I told him I had plans. I’m telling you it’s probably just throwing him for a loop that he hasn’t gotten in my pants yet. As soon as he does, I can guarantee you he’s gone.”
“So why give it up then?”
Valerie looked at her sympathetically as she got up in front of the mirrored closet door. “Silly little Sarah,” she said. “You really think he’s gonna hang around forever, just to get some of this?”
Sarah frowned, but before she could say anything, Valerie continued, “Besides, I told you I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m perfectly happy with the chance to be with the Alex Moreno just a few times. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”
Sarah wasn’t so sure about that. She didn’t care what Valerie said; she knew what she heard. Alex sounded pissed. But if Valerie insisted, what could she say? Valerie did know Alex a lot better than she did.
The phone rang again, and they both jumped then exchanged glances. Valerie looked at the caller ID.
“It’s him again!” She sat down on the bed, and Sarah assumed the position right next to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Z, one question.”
“What?”
“What were your plans Wednesday night?”
Valerie turned and looked at Sarah wide-eyed and covered her mouth. “Um, nothing really,” she said. “I was just gonna go out with my girlfriends. Why?”
There was silence again on the other end. “Just wondering,” he said. “All right, I’ll let you go to sleep now. See you Wednesday.”
Valerie smiled and said goodnight. She looked at Sarah, who was giving her a knowing look. “Before you say anything”—she held her hand up—“I’ve already told you guys are territorial, especially ones with such big egos. That’s all it is. It means nothing.”
She looked so smug and sounded so sure, but Sarah felt uneasy. She would’ve never believed it, but she was beginning to worry about Valerie playing games with Alex.