“Is the weather always perfect in Bermuda?” Rachel wondered aloud while lounging in the pool with Derek and Zoe, who were splashing around with a ducky floater.
It was their second day in the beautiful country and the sun was shining from a clear sky.
“Not always, but we came here at the right time,” said Derek.
He took a sip of his chilled drink and sighed with satisfaction. “This is the life. I don’t know why I never liked the idea of taking vacations before. It just seemed like a waste of time to me because every minute that passed was a lost opportunity to make another kill in the business world.”
“You’re the wealthiest workaholic I know,” said Rachel. “Why do you like working so much? It can’t be for the money because you’ve always had that.”
“Yeah, it was never about the money for me,” he admitted. “I guess work helped me to suppress all my emotional baggage. It drowns out all the noise and keeps my mind constantly busy.”
Rachel was surprised by this unexpected display of vulnerability from him. She hadn’t realized that his emotional trauma ran so deep or that it was one of the things that motivated him to be a man who prioritized his career over everything else. He was simply using his work as a balm to soothe his inner pain.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” he said when he saw how sad she now looked. “Work was merely a coping mechanism for me but I don’t need that anymore. I have you and Zoe now.”
Everything clicked for her right then; Derek was using her and Zoe to fill up the void in his life. Contrary to what Vanessa had told her, he wasn’t in love with her, instead, he was using her and Zoe to block out the pain that had gnawed at his heart for years.
Rachel’s happy mood deflated immediately and she swam out of the pool feeling like an idiot. How could she have mistaken a relationship of convenience for something deeper?
“Rachel, are you ok?” Derek asked when he noticed how her mood had suddenly changed. “Is something wrong?”
“No, everything is fine. I just need to use the bathroom,” she said and fled.
Inside the villa, she went to the bar to pour herself a stiff drink. She needed to be honest with herself in this relationship or else, she will continue to get her heart broken every day and Derek wouldn’t even know what was happening to her.
She did not agree to go on vacations with him to simply spend the entire time second-guessing her position in his life and being miserable. This was supposed to be a time for her to let her hair down, have fun and enjoy his generosity to the fullest.
It was time for her to stop acting like a love-starved woman and just be that woman who was having the time of her life with her billionaire boyfriend who was also the father of her child!
“Stop being a pussy, Rachel,” she said to herself. “You’re already Derek’s novocaine, don’t be his emotional dump site too.”
If Derek was going to be using her as his painkiller, she might as well use him as her means to live the lavish lifestyle that she’d once thought to be unattainable. If any of her friends were in her position right now, they wouldn’t be acting like some love-hungry teenage girl who is finally in the same breathing space with her crush.
She needed to get her head out of the clouds and face reality. Derek loves the idea of having his own family, but he does not love her. He loves and adores Zoe, but he does not love her and that’s ok.
This trip was meant to be a fun trip and she was already ruining it with her unrealistic expectation that he would fall in love with her.
She drained the glass of wine and set it down on the table. As the alcohol made a hot path down her throat, she imagine it burning away her initial stupidity and restoring her senses. From now on, she was going to be the fun-loving Rachel she used to be before she met Derek.
She would go everywhere with him, eat with him, sleep with him and spend his money without remorse. As long as Zoe was well-taken care of and happy, she was good. She didn’t need Derek to fall in love with her for her to be happy.
Having successfully consoled herself, she returned to the pool and found Derek and Zoe sitting on one of the lounge chairs, talking and laughing.
“What’s so funny?” She asked when she joined them.
Derek looked at her curiously. “I was telling Zoe a joke that I just made up,” he said, still staring at her with a puzzled expression.
“I’d like to hear it,” she said with a huge smile.
“O…kay,” he said tentatively. “So, here’s the joke; what did the duck say to the doctor?”
Rachel shrugged. “Quack, quack?”
“Yes!” Derek replied, surprised by her accurate response.
Zoe dissolved into a fit of laughter, clutching her sides as she laughed.
“How did you figure that out? Are you telepathic or something?”
“Maybe I am, or maybe I just know that ducks say quack, quack.”
Zoe started laughing again.
“She thinks quack, quack is funny,” said Derek, enjoying his daughter’s mirth. “I love the sound of her laughter.”
Rachel felt her heart beginning to melt and she caught herself. This was the sort of thing that made her think she was in love with Derek.
“Don’t you think this is a perfect day to go to the beach?” She asked abruptly.
“Uh, sure,” said Derek, uncertainly. He couldn’t figure out what was up with Rachel. Not long ago, she’d looked hurt by something he probably said, and now here she was all smiles and lighthearted and wanting to go to the beach? Was she ok?
“Do you know any beach we could go to around here?” She asked.
“Yeah. Coco Reef is not too far away from here. We could go there.”
“Cool. I’ll go pack our stuff and we can go,” she said and got on her feet to go back inside.
“Ok. I’ll let the guys know we are going out,” Derek replied, feeling more confused by Rachel’s sudden change in demeanor.
********
Just like every other part of Bermuda, Coco Reef looked like a slice of paradise. Their first stop was one of the restaurants on the property where they settled for some Mediterranean dishes that even Zoe enjoyed.
The bodyguards sat at a nearby table and kept a watchful eye on the family as they dined. Next, they strolled to the beach to splash around in the water and do some shallow swimming. After some minutes of hardcore playing in the water, Rachel was ready to relax but Zoe wasn’t ready to leave just yet.
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay here with her,” Derek offered. “You can go and chill under the umbrellas.”
“Thanks. I can’t seem to match Zoe’s energy today,” she said and left father and daughter to continue playing in the water.
“Phew!” She exhaled as she settled down on one of the empty beach chairs on the sand. From her seat, she watched Derek playing with Zoe and she felt a sense of contentment that she hadn’t felt since her relationship with him began not too long ago.
“Is that your family?” A woman asked beside her.
Rachel turned to look at the person who had spoken and found herself staring into a set of familiar blue eyes, although she could tell that she didn’t know this woman with a head of fiery hair and a slender body that was encased in a turquoise one-piece bathing suit.
“Yes,” Rachel replied with a polite smile.
“Your husband is quite easy on the eyes,” the woman said appreciatively.
Rachel simply smiled in response. If it had been a day ago, she would have been offended by this woman’s compliment but not today, not ever again. Derek wasn’t her property, so she wasn’t going to let herself feel a type of way because this sixty-something-year-old woman found him attractive.
“Your daughter looks like a miniature version of him,” the woman continued. “They’re so adorable together, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they are,” said Rachel in a tone that she hoped sounded dismissive enough to the other woman to discourage further commentary. She’d come to this spot to relax, not to chit-chat with an old woman who had the hots for her boyfriend.
“How long have you two been married?” Asked the woman.
Ugh! Rachel didn’t want to be rude to this woman but she was tired of her intrusive line of questioning.
“He is not my husband, he’s my boyfriend,” she snapped. “Please, if you don’t mind, I would like to rest a little before my er – family comes here to join me.”
“Of course,” the woman said, embarrassed. She put on a pair of black sunglasses and returned her attention to the water where Derek and Zoe were still playing.
She closed her eyes and drowned out the sounds around her. The ocean breeze was cool and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore created a relaxing yet rhythmic soundtrack for her resting mind. It was the perfect combination for an afternoon nap.
“Wakey, wakey!” Said Derek in a sing-song voice.
Rachel opened her eyes and noted with surprise that she had been sleeping. “Good Lord, I must have dozed off,” she said.
“That was more than a doze,” said Derek with an amused chuckle. “Little Miss Zee here appears to be ready to catch some zees too.”
Zoe looked completely worn out from all that playing. She held out her arms to Rachel, needing her mother’s comforting embrace to soothe her to sleep.
“Aww, there’s my baby,” said Rachel, holding her daughter.
“I think we should head back to the villa now. I’m exhausted too,” said Derek.
“Sure,” replied Rachel. As she got up from the lounge chair, she looked to her side and noticed that the strange woman’s chair was now empty.
Good riddance, she thought. The woman had been such a pest during their brief encounter and Rachel hoped that she wouldn’t run into another nosey tourist like her again for the rest of their stay in Bermuda.
“I think I need a massage,” said Derek as they walked back to their car.
“I like the sound of that but what about Zoe? We can’t just leave her in the house and go to a spa.”
“We can ring for a couple of masseuses to come to the villa and render a home service for us.”
“We’ll have to take turns then because one of us has to stay with Zoe while she sleeps.”
“Aw, man. Where’s the fun in that? It’s supposed to be a couple’s session.”
“I know but Zoe…”
“Needs a nanny,” Derek completed her sentence. “I love Zoe with all of my heart and my soul, but we can’t keep lugging her about with us even when we need some alone time. It’s high time we hired a nanny to take care of her when we need to spend quality adult time together.”
Rachel sighed. Vanessa had told her in Montana that getting a nanny for Zoe was a necessity, not a luxury and now she could see the sense in that statement.
“Where are we going to get a nanny in Bermuda?” She asked.
“We could enlist Vanessa’s help and she would find us the perfect fit. I trust her judgment on that.”
“Wait, are we going to hire a nanny in the U.S. and fly her down to Bermuda?”
“Why not? Are we supposed to employ a stranger here to look after our daughter instead?”
“But the cost – “
“Forget about the cost. If Vanessa can hire a good nanny that she can vouch for, then we are good to go. Shane will always be with them, so we have nothing to fear about Zoe’s safety. It’s a win-win, Rachel.”
She felt at ease with his explanation and smiled at him in response. She had to keep reminding herself that this man was rich enough to hire aliens from outer space to work for him if he wanted, so she needed to stop worrying about what everything was costing him and simply relax and enjoy it all.
“You’re right, Derek. It’s a win-win for all of us,” she said with a smile. “I still can’t believe how you’ve settled into this dad role with such ease. I’m amazed.”
“So am I,” he admitted. “I used to think that I would be a terrible dad, and I still have that fear, but Zoe makes it so easy for me. And let’s not forget how you coached me through it too. I still feel bad that I missed out on her birth and the early days of her life.”
“It’s ok, Derek. You have the rest of her life to make it up to her. You’re doing a great job already.”
He smiled at her. “Thank you for giving me a second chance, Rachel. You’re a fantastic person and I owe you a lot after all the pain I caused you in the past.”
“It’s all good, Derek. We all make mistakes and we can either repeat them or correct them. That’s what matters.”
“That is so true. Thank you, for being so gracious. I don’t deserve you.”
No, you don’t, she thought. You are going to have to work hard to earn my love and trust from now on.