"My - sides - are - burning!" I panted, my voice hardly inaudible. "Can - we - stop?"
Xavier's smooth chuckle met my ears as he eased to a stop. Not one drop of sweat could be seen on his body. Which was pretty annoying, considering we had been running for a really, really long time.
I'm pretty fit. Well, I think I am, to some extent, but Xavier is on a whole new level. When I run, I usually walk, run, walk, run and my run is a jog. Not a sprint. Due to my competitive nature, I had to be side-by-side with him if not in front. He was pushing me to the extreme limits and I didn't like it. Neither did my poor body.
If it had been the morning, I think my energy levels would be higher. I'm not a morning person at all, but after a shower and eating breakfast, I feel pretty good. But having gone through a whole day of school and short shift at work, I was feeling pretty dead.
My legs hurt. My belly hurt. My head hurt. My chest hurt.
"Finally!" he breathed, running a hand messily through his hair, flashing me a grin. "You finally back down."
I had pushed myself pretty hard. A lot harder than I would have if I had been by myself. I couldn't just let him win. Who do you think I am?
"Shut - up," I said breathlessly, still not having gained normality with my breathing.
"Okay, we can go back now."
My body sagged and I let out a very sad sounding, "woohoo". Dragging my feet with me, I trailed behind Xavier, too exhausted to try and lead. My clothes were sticking to me from my sweat and I knew my face would be flaming. Perks of having an extremely pale complexion.
"I used to run track," he admitted, giving me a soft grin. "If that makes you feel better."
"Of course," I muttered, planting my hands on my hips as I walked.
Xavier and I had been hanging out the past couple days and it had been really nice. It was annoying me how much I was beginning to depend on him. I would come home from school and wait for him. If he wasn't home, I would wonder where he is, who he's with and what he's up to.
It's sickening. I don't want to be this needy girl.
A shudder ran down my spine. I was falling for him. I've learnt to be very independent. Even with Jacob, it wasn't like I depended on him at all. But with Xavier, it was beginning to feel like I needed him to keep me sane.
"Cold?"
"Huh?" I asked, coming out of my mental dilemma. "Oh, no, I'm okay."
I was cold, actually. But it didn't matter, we weren't far from home. The late afternoon glow was really pretty, when you took a second to actually look. I let my eyes roam around, surprised it was actually still light out. It felt like the night came extremely quickly after school, sometimes.
The weather had considerably warmed up the past few days. I like warm weather, but I adore winter fashion. My style is much more "jacket and jeans" rather than "skirt and singlet". Unless I was at home. But even there, I don't feel all the comfortable wandering around in skimpy outfits, with Xavier there.
"Are you going to Herold's party tomorrow?"
My stomach tightened at the mention of Thomas Herold. I hadn't attending one of his "gatherings", as he liked to label it, since I discovered Jacob was a cheating, lying bastard. Yeah, I was never going to let that grudge go.
He had held a few since then and I always found an excuse not to go. My excuses had become so bland that my friends don't bother to invite me anymore. They know it's too painful for me. I'm not as tough as I pretend to be.
I couldn't wipe the scowl from my face. My voice came out monotone as I replied. "I don't know."
"What's with the attitude?" he asked.
I wrapped my arms around myself as the breeze picked up slightly. The sky was dramatically darkening, making me quicken my pace, suddenly just wanting to get home.
I hated talking about this. And the fact that Xavier actually knows what Jacob did to me. Well, to some extent. When Jacob had written me the letter, he touched on what he did, but obviously didn't go into detail. I don't think either of us particularly want to relive that moment.
"Um," I said, trying to figure out a way to be vague or lie, but realised it was pointless. He already knows what happened anyway. "That's where everything went down with Jacob. I haven't been to one of Herold's parties since."
"Oh," he said softly.
Our arms brushed and I felt tingles swoop through my belly at the mere touch of him. I balled my hands into fists, wanting desperately to reject the feelings I had developed towards him. But he's just been so sweet, I can't. I pegged him in my mind as an arrogant ass before I got to know him. And now that I am, a little anyway, I'm starting to realise maybe he really is a good guy after all. Except that he's probably talking, if not seeing a bunch of other girls and is just totally stringing me along. With that thought, I broadened the distance between us and glued my eyes to the road in front of me.
Won't be forgetting that text from Jasmine anytime soon.
"So, yeah, I don't know." I eventually said.
"You should come."
"You're going?"
Well, that changes things.
"Well, yeah, I was thinking about it," he said. I felt his eyes on me but I determinedly stared ahead. "I want you to come."
Unable to stop myself, I glanced at him. "Really?"
"Yeah, of course."
A smile spread across my lips and I wanted to hit myself. I was being such an idiot.
Why was he being so nice?
Why are you so paranoid? A niggle voice in my mind asked.
"Okay, I'll go."
He stopped. Looking over my shoulder, I gave him a questioning look. "What?"
"That was... easy?" he said, although it came out more like a question.
I shrugged. "I haven't been to a party in a while, so, why not?"
I wouldn't have even thought about going, if Xavier didn't say he was. I grimaced. I was a loser. A love struck loser.
We reached my house and we parted ways, which I was both disappointed and thankful for. I mounted the stairs and made a beeline to my bed, where I left my phone charging.
I quickly texted Brooklyn, as an idea suddenly formed in my mind.
'We're going to Thomas Herold's party tomorrow. Get here early and help me get ready. We have a lot to do. Will explain tomorrow. Love ya x'
Suddenly, I couldn't wait for tomorrow.
***
"Holy shit."
That was the exact response I wanted. I smirked, staring at Brooklyn's open mouth. Her round eyes slowly roamed over my outfit.
"Faith, you look... wow."
Seeing Brooklyn speechless was a first.
Going completely against my self and what I would usually do, I decided to go all out for the party. I want to impress Xavier and show him I have what it takes to compete with all the other girls.
My mother had sent me this play suit about a year ago. Luckily for me, I never grow, so all my old clothes fit. I hadn't ever worn this. It's so not me. It's actually something that is literally the opposite of what I would wear.
It was a tight, black playsuit that clung to every part of my body. The top cut low into a V and tightened in a very flattering way at my waist. It was pretty short, but I'm sure it was specifically designed that way. The back was completely backless. I felt exposed, but after having a few drinks, I felt pretty confident and decided I didn't care so much tonight. My fiery red hair was straightened to perfection and my makeup was flawless, thanks to Brooklyn. She was really good at that stuff. She watched tutorials for hours and hours on end. I found it really boring, if I'm honest, but I'm glad she has the skills. It comes in handy sometimes.
I had little boots on just to add a bit of my own style in there. But that's what my aim was: to show him I could be unpredictable. Well, I hoped anyway. I didn't want Xavier to just think of me as his daggy roommate or see me as a sister. I wanted a lot more than that...
I don't even know what I want. I don't know if it's just attention, or wanting that closeness with someone again or if I really do what to be with him. I honestly don't know.
"Xavier isn't going to be able to resist you!"
My cheeks turned hot. "He isn't why I'm doing this."
She rolled her eyes at my pathetic lie. "Yeah, okay."
I kind of felt like this was like Herold's last party. Just Brooklyn and I getting ready together... But this time, I was making sure I stood out. And plus, Alex was on his way. I hadn't seen him in forever. He's been MIA doing family stuff. But you never know with Alex. His family trips sometimes end with him disappearing on some exotic island for the weekend with some guy's name I can't pronounce. He honestly amazes me the things he gets himself into.
After doing a few shots (definitely giving me flash backs, but I firmly ignored them), I was feeling pretty good. The music in the room got louder and I actually found myself dancing. I usually had to be pretty drunk to dance.
"Hey, bitches!"
And Alex was here.
He walked in, arm looped with his "date", whom I actually haven't met yet. He let out a far-too-dramatic gasp at the sight of me. I'll be getting a lot of that tonight. My usual party attire wasn't much different to my usual dress. Never skirts or dresses. Although this is a dress-shorts type thing, it still was extremely different to anything else I'd owned. I don't even know why I didn't throw it out. Maybe I knew I would need it one day. I'd never willingly own anything like this, but of course my mother designed these types of clothes.
"Chookie girl Faith!" he gasped, striding towards me. He clutched at my hand and I did a whirl, throwing in a courtesy at the end. "Who the hell are you planning to go home with?"
"Take one guess," Brooklyn smirked.
Alex's grin doubled. "So you do have a thing for Xavier."
"I do not!" I defended, wincing at the sound of my own voice. I felt so petty.
Alex laughed. "I'm happy for you babe."
Something inside my chest swirled at his words. Would it really be so bad to trust someone again? To let myself like, or love someone, again?
"Anyway, this is Ethan," Alex gestured to the boy beside him.
"Hey! I'm Brooklyn," she beamed.
"Faith," I said coolly, unintentionally flipping my hair back. Wow, what has gotten into me?
"Nice to meet you both. Your house is beautiful, Faith."
"Thanks," I smiled, liking him already, coming back to myself slightly.
He was shorter than Alex, which surprised me. Alex's type was tall and lean. But this guy was cute. He seemed a little shy too, which Alex loved. He went for the shy, awkward ones, for some reason.
After getting a few drinks in Ethan, he loosened up and instantly became chattier. We played a round of "Never Have I Ever", which was kind of lame considering I knew everything about my two best friends and Ethan didn't have many exciting stories.
One round of "King's Cup" later and we were all pretty drunk. Which is when we decided to go. Alex's mum, who is one of the loveliest people you will ever meet, was our designated driver for the evening. I loved her but she was so annoying. It was instant twenty questions with her every single time.
"Hi Faith, how are you? How's your dad? What's he up to? I hear you have a new roommate? Is it hard with Nancy gone? How's work going? Getting many hours? What subject are you liking the most this year?" The list goes on and on and on. She hardly has drawn a breath before she starts on Brooklyn. It's nice that she actually cares though.
Once I was free from the bombarding questions and Brooklyn was facing the spotlight, I let my mind wander. Although I was getting to the stage of being very chatty and giggly. And obviously, I was not a giggler.
Was Xavier there already? He was going with some of the football guys.
Just like Jacob had...
I refused to go down that road again.
After thanking Pam, we all tumbled out of the car. I was glad the air wasn't stinging cold as it usually was, considering my back was on full display. I had a jacket with me in case, but the outfit just did not look as cool covered in a big coat.
The stares were instant. Drunk people are just not subtle. Their eyes were wide, their lips moving furiously. All wondering the same thing. Who the hell was this girl and what happened to Faith?
Usually, I would hate the scrutinising stares. But tonight? I was going to bask in it.
"Woah, Faith, didn't recognise you." Derek boomed, giving me a light slap on the shoulder.
I ignored him. This déjà vu was disturbing and not at all welcome.
I pivoted towards Alex, immensely glad to have him by my side. "Let's get smashed."
With a wink, he swiped at my hand, dragging Ethan and myself after him. Alex was the life of the party every time. He usually got a little too carried away. His dancing became dangerous and he usually ended up passed out somewhere in a garden. But he's so much fun.
Due to Alex dragging me, I had no control of where I was going, smashing into someone's shoulder. Her feminine "ugh" told me who it was in 0.1 seconds. Megan's eyes almost popped from her skull as she took in my outfit.
I gave her a fake, cheerful grin, shoving her out of the way and continuing to let Alex drag me to the kitchen. Take that, bitch.
The bass was vibrating underneath me the second I stepped inside. I swear I could feel it through my skin. After another shot round with the two love birds, I peeled away from them.
I had been dancing non stop, but there was no sweat at all on my body. I felt completely exhilarated. I wasn't really dancing with a group that I usually would hang out with, but Brooklyn was with Derek, Alex with Ethan and really, they were the only ones I wanted to be with, other than him.
"You look amazing," a voice murmured in my ear.
Not the voice I wanted to hear.
Turning on my heel, I faced Jacob's dark eyes. I blinked up at him, trying to focus.
"You have no right to talk to me." My voice was so sassy that I actually smirked, proud of myself. I'm glad that I still had enough control to do that.
"Look, I know what happened last time we were both here-"
"Save it. Your Megan's problem now. Just piss off."
"Faith, please-" he reached out to touch me and I recoiled, as if his touch would burn me. With a look of pure disgust on my face, I marched from him, needing to put as much distance between myself and him as possible.
I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed my can, which I had staged sneakily in one of the pots, in the bottom cupboard. Taking a long sip, I tilted my head back. I can't believe I was here again.
"Hey!" I turned, once again, disappointed. It was Angus Milde, an insignificant football jerk from my school. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him. His eyes were staring blatantly at my chest. "What's doing?"
He hadn't spoken to me hardly before. It's a wonder what make up and a new outfit can do. I rolled my eyes at his transparency.
"Not you."
Gripping my drink, I turned. I only came to this party to see Xavier and I have seemed to see everyone else but him. It was infuriating.
I sauntered from the kitchen, knowing that Angus was watching every move of mine. I did it on purpose so that the rejection was harsher. Yeah, I'm that mean.
The living room was kind of dead, which was weird. That's where the lights and the music was. Everyone seemed to be out on the patio this time, as the air was beginning to become stuffy in here. Well, I hadn't been here for a while, so maybe the patio was the new dance floor.
Looking up, even in the dim lighting, I could see the brightness of Xavier's jade green eyes as he walked towards me. My stomach clenched, but in a good way. Our arms brushed against each other. His long fingers wrapped around my wrist, tugging me back as I had attempted to nonchalantly stride past him.
His eyes walked over my body. They grew a few shades darker. I smirked. Mission accomplished. The guy he was with wandered off, realising Xavier was now preoccupied. Good. I wanted him all to myself.
I don't know why, but the alcohol in my system does not care about rationalising and realising that I can't like Xavier.
"You look gorgeous." His voice was smooth and a shiver ran down my spine at the sound of it.
He leaned forward, running his hands through my hair. I felt breathless, gaping up at him. The music changed and I entwined our fingers. He stared at me, in complete shock. I tugged him. Our bodies collided together.
I leaned up, our noses grazing. Running my hands seductively down his chest, I came to the decision that I didn't care if we were roommates. I didn't care if he was talking to other people. I just wanted him.
A growl-like sounded came from his throat and he pushed me against the wall. A gasp left my mouth at the sudden intensity. My drink spilled onto the floor, but I didn't care one little bit. He wedged his knee in between my own, making sure there was no space between us.
I was gasping for breath by this point.
"You're so hot," he breathed, his breath hitting my fan. "I've wanted you for so long."
My heart stopped beating. What!? He... What!? My thoughts couldn't even process right now.
Cupping my face in his palms, all my thoughts slithered away. Pushing our foreheads together, our lips grazed. My stomach plummeted, making me feel nauseous. Unable to stand the teasing any longer, I crashed our lips together.
He tasted so damn good.
His lips were soft and inviting, making me want more. His hand moved firmly down the side of my body as our lips moved more passionately together. I pushed my body closer to his although I didn't think we could get any closer.
His tongue brushed mine and my eyes rolled back in my head. He was the best kisser I'd ever experienced. Nipping at my lip, he pulled back. Smiling down to me, he flicked my nose.
"I knew you had the hots for me."
"Shut up," I said breathlessly.
Reaching up, I gripped a fistful of his hair, drawing him to me again. I kissed him hungrily. I needed to feel him against me. Suddenly, I was lifted and automatically, my legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed me against the wall even more, gripping me almost too tightly. But I loved every second of it.
Very faintly, in the back of my mind, I knew we shouldn't be doing this where anyone could walk in. But all rational thoughts were gone. I was way too absorbed in him.
Electricity spiked through my veins. I've never felt so alive.
His warm hands felt firm as he touched the exposed skin on my back. I felt like I was going to pass out. He stepped back, panting, our breaths mingling together. Red lip stick was smeared across his lips and I grinned up at him, feeling better than I had in a long time.
I'm definitely glad I came out tonight.