Where I Give a Chance
I stopped receiving flowers with notes. At first, I was glad about this: I didn’t have to open the door to the courier every morning, thinking about where to put the new bouquet when my entire house was already filled with flowers. However, over time, I realized that I missed all of this, those little inconveniences, and Leo. I was also worried about why this concerned me so much; after all, I wanted him to leave me alone. I chastised myself with thoughts that I was just bored and because of that, I suddenly started missing the blonde, but the matter was different. Almost two months had passed since our acquaintance, but I couldn’t even remember how I lived before this. How I lived without waking up to his messages every morning, how I lived without his attention. He didn’t write or call, as if he had completely disappeared and forgotten about me. I tried to pry something out of Nick, but he remained silent, only ambiguously mentioning that it was a difficult and complicated situation and that he wouldn’t discuss his friend's state. It was as if Leo had fallen off the face of the earth; could it really be that he had burned out? But it still seemed very strange because I was sure that people like Leo never burn out. Maybe something happened to him, but Nick and Ella just didn’t want to tell me? These questions tormented me for more than two weeks since Leo completely disappeared from my life. After my recovery, I found solace in work and lectures, but the problem was that Mr. De Ville was now my boss, although in a couple of weeks at my new office position he didn’t show up or just didn’t work on the days I did. But one day, Elizabeth rushed in with wide eyes that I noticed even through her giant sunglasses and declared:
— He’s here. I just saw him, — for a moment, I felt like my heart stopped, and there was complete silence around me, though in reality my heart was still beating, and the noise in this office was anything but quiet. I was the only one not panicking and pretending that it didn’t bother me. Although it really troubled me. So much so that during my lunch break and for some time afterward, instead of attending to my own affairs, I wandered the hallways hoping to “accidentally” run into De Ville. Of course, he wasn’t walking these hallways, and I was just wandering back and forth and looking foolish, flinching at every sound. I already thought that my completely senseless plan had failed, but at the end of the corridor, I saw his blonde head. He slowly turned and headed in my direction, but all his attention was focused on another object. He was walking toward me, not looking up from some documents as he frowned. I gasped, so I simply didn’t have the strength to say anything or somehow attract his attention. I think he would definitely notice me anyway. A few centimeters were left between us and… Shock mixed with hope froze on my face. Leo looked as if he hadn’t slept at all, working 24/7. His tousled blonde hair, which was usually perfectly styled, and dark circles under his eyes. I didn’t have the courage to make a sound, and the guy simply ignored my presence. He just walked past me, continuing to flip through the papers in his hands. I could only watch him go.
— I don’t know if this is right, but it seems I’m losing my pride, — I said to Ella one day. She was trying again and again to draw some incomprehensible pattern. And when she couldn’t, she huffed indignantly, crossing out what she had drawn before and starting over. I could not make sense of what she wanted to achieve.
After my words, she looked up and, I was ready to swear, gave a satisfied grunt:
— I knew he liked you, — she replied.
— I just have the impression that I did something wrong when I disappeared, only sending a message and not listening to what he would say. And your romantic fairy tales have nothing to do with it, — that wasn’t entirely true, but it worried me too. I felt like a petulant child who pouted and didn’t want to listen to anyone, covering my ears with my hands. I felt that it was wrong and that I should have listened to Leo.
— I see right through you. And this isn’t a romantic fairy tale, but a reality that’s hard for you to accept because how could such an independent woman like you get attached to some man with a blonde head, — Ella replied, and once again immersed herself in her drawing.
— I’m not some lovesick fool! — I wanted to believe this more than I actually did.
— Oh no, sweetie! You’re not a fool, of course not, but, Dell, you like him. Just admit it, otherwise, you’ll keep winding yourself up all the time, — she seemed to crack, but then added. — I told you that you should give him a chance, remember? — she fell silent again, but only to add with more effect. — You both are unhappy now. Don’t pretend that it’s not your fault.