AKIRA'S POV
Ares was a grown man. He was thousands of years old and I knew he had lived long enough to know his rights and wrongs. He had the wrong way of portraying his feelings. And an even wronger way of fixing things.
And his act because jealousy had successfully broken me.
I picked up the butcher knife in my hands and I stared back at the girl in its reflection. I looked like a shadow of myself. I looked like the man who broke me. Cold and numb.
My cheekbones were staring right back at me and my collarbone was protruding proudly. I looked back at my reflection and the blue eyes staring back at me didn't look like mine. They had lost their warmth and they were numb, tired and sunken from my continuous cries, with heavy eyebags from numerous nights of not being able to sleep. I looked like a walking corpse.
I couldn't sleep, not when I repeatedly kept seeing skittles, Nana and Ama in my dreams. They were disappointed in me. They wanted me to keep fighting. But I couldn't. Not when there wasn't anything left to fight for. Not when there wasn't anyone worth fighting for.
Not when I had been kidnapped, beaten, starved – and well, forced to eat my pet, under two months. My fight was gone. It was buried six feet underneath. And I was damn tired of fighting.
I gripped the knife tighter in my bony fingers and I went back to chopping the onions. I had lost pounds of weight in the last few days. And my gown looked like it was swallowing me. I could feel the butt of the knife digging into my palm as I chopped harder.
My stomach couldn't bear the thought of something in it. It had rejected every single thing I tried to swallow and my throat was scratchy from throwing up multiple times.
Once we were done cooking, I made a move to leave the kitchen when a voice stopped me.
"Stay back, Akira." It belonged to Madam Yelena.
I kept my back to her as the rest of the maids walked passed me. While some sent looks of pity towards me, others gave me smug looks.
I smiled. I could hear what they were all saying about me.
"I feel really bad for her. She looks so pale and ill."
"I'm glad the Alpha finally decided to keep her in her place. She deserves it."
"I heard the Alpha did it because he was jealous. She had something to do with Orion,"
Their words were all soft murmurs but the last one stung the most. It reminded me of Orion.
I still haven't found him and I had given up. I knew he was dead. There was no way the Alpha would keep him alive, right?
I chuckled at the flicker of hope. The Alpha wouldn't dare.
I figured his body was already thrown into the woods, for other wildlife to feed on.
All because of me.
When the last girl walked out, I turned to face Madam Yelena. And just like the last time, I could see the pity in her eyes.
Pity for me. The helpless broken human.
She placed a plate of spaghetti in front of me and I chuckled at her kindness.
When I was dragged out of Ares's bedroom, I was immediately brought to her and for the first time since I was brought to this mansion, I saw something other than the usual frown etched on her face.
Pity.
Madam Yelena had finally shown me an emotion and it was pity. I didn't care that she had starved me for three days, I had cried on her shoulders. She was the only mother figure to me at that moment and I had bawled on her shoulders.
I wasn't shocked when she had hugged me back, whispering a few soothing words in my ears. When I was done crying she had immediately made a soup that was meant to soothe the burn in my throat and stomach.
But I threw that up too.
Ever since then we had built a mother-daughter bond. She would constantly call me to the side when I was done for the day and offer me food. But no matter how much my body needed the food, my mind refused to give it a try. Because all I could see was my Skittles on a plate.
I looked back at her and then to the food on the counter. "We've done this multiple times. You know I can't eat it." I couldn't even recognize my voice. It was scratchy and my throat hurt as I spoke.
Her glare was back on her face. "You have to eat, child." She trailed her eyes down my weak form. "You have lost so much weight already. I'm afraid something wrong might happen soon."
I tried to give her a reassuring smile but, again, she sent a glare my way.
"Eat, Akira." She chastised me.
Sighing, I picked up the fork and shoved the food into my mouth. And like the last fucking time as I tried to swallow it down, my stomach rejected it and I was running to the sink to throw everything up.
Once I rinsed my mouth with water, I turned to look back at Madam Yelena. "I told you," My lips cracked as I smiled. "I can't eat it."
Without waiting for her answer, I began to walk away, only to feel her grip on my wrist.
When I turned to look at her, she gently wiped the tear I didn't know were streaming down my eyes. "It's all going to be okay soon, child." Her words were soft and her eyes were kind. "You just have to give it time."
I wanted to scream and yell about how much time I had given it. Instead, I smiled, I felt blood trail down my lips as it stretched into a faux smile.
"Tine wouldn't heal me, Yelena. You know that."
And with that, I left the kitchen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things have significantly turned for the worse. While my week has been spent juggling multiple chores and trying to get myself out of this shell, Ares had turned worse.
I've seen one or two she-wolves go to his quarters and leave the mansion the next day.
They were pretty; tall, blonde with green eyes. Exactly how he liked them.
Of course, I cried myself to sleep every night knowing he was spending the night with them. Knowing he was having sex with them and he was enjoying it.
While he gravelly punished me for kissing Orion. A kiss that tore me apart. A kiss that destroyed my whole life.
A frown tugged at my lips when I saw Madam Yelena coming my way.
It was the middle of the night, wasn't this woman supposed to be sleeping?
"I think you should give yourself some rest," I said immediately she was near me. "Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"
She only laughed as she sat down on the bench. It reminded me of when Orion and I met. Right on this same bench. The beginning of the end of my almost-less-broken life.
"I knew I was going to find you here." She simply stated as we both looked craning our heads to look at the sky.
Sadly, there was no moon tonight. Just a sky filled with multiple stars. The night was dampened. Just like the atmosphere in the entire fucking mansion.
"The quietness here makes me think." Came my response.
I continued. "It makes me feel whole again. You know –" I let out a miserable laugh. "Since your Alpha shattered me."
Madam Yelena was quiet for a while before she spoke. "I know Ares is your mate."
I only hummed. "Well, if that hasn't turned out fruitful for me."
Madam Yelena sighed. "Ares doesn't do love. He doesn't lay out his emotions on his sleeves." She went quiet again. "My mother took care of him when his father, the Alpha king, and his mother died. Ares's mother, the gods bless her soul, was a beautiful woman, both in and out. Although Ares had a lot of temper issues growing him, his mother still managed to train him up with the love he deserved. I believe that the same love he grew with at some point is still there. Hidden in the depths of his cold heart. He just needs someone, his mate, to be right there with him."
"Don't give up on him just yet, child." She went on. "I have a great feeling that if you showed Ares a sprinkle of the love I know you have for him, he would see things from a better perspective. Things would change for the better."
I looked at her, bewildered. "You can't fucking say that." I internally cringe for cussing at her. "You saw how he treated me! You have seen first-hand what I have been through in the hands of my so-called fucking mate. You can't expect me to even think of showing him that I care. Ares can go to hell for all I care."
Her hands moved to hold mine and for the first time, Madam Yelena looked about ready to cry. "I lost my mate because of the rules Alpha Ares set out." Her eyes turned misty. "He was everything I wanted but unfortunately I had to oblige to his rules."
Rage took over me. "Your fucking Alpha should learn to accept mistakes and grow the fuck up." I gripped her hands harder. "You can't tell me just because a superior being sets out a rule you had to lose the love of your life, Madam Yelena. Your Alpha should learn to process things, not just for his sake, but for the sake of others. He can't just set out a fucking rule because his parents were murdered by humans. I mean, it's been fucking ages. Thousands and thousands of years if I'm not mistaken. Ares has had enough time to process shit."
"And these fucking rules aren't going to make me lose my life," I stated. "So if it means rejecting him to keep my already miserable life?" I let out a humourless laugh. "Then so fucking be it."
Madam Yelena took her hands out of my tight to clean the tears streaming down my face. "You have to save the future of the young ones, Akira. You're the only one who can change him. Change the future of packs out there, of werewolves. Families are falling apart because half of the wolves aren't with the one they love."
Her words shook me to my core. And suddenly I imagined a young girl being sentenced to death because she wouldn't want to reject her mate. How she would choose death over living in a broken family. Leaving her mate and family with the memory of her tragic death.
"Why weren't you killed?" I blurted out the one question stuck in my head.
She smiled. It was sad. "I rejected him. But that didn't stop me from finding someone else. I have two children."
"Well? Do you love him?" I quipped.
Madam Yelena shook her head. "I'm sure you know what mates are. Sure, he grew up on me but that didn't make me miss my mate any lesser."
But she suddenly smiled. "I'm sure August would be dead now. But I do want to meet his children or his grandchildren at least."
My heart clenched with pain for her. But a thought suddenly came up. "What would have happened if you hadn't rejected him? Would he have turned into a wolf like you too? Would he have lived any longer?"
"No." She laughed, her eyes were bright. It seemed like August was a fond memory to her. "He wouldn't have turned into a wolf. The she-wolves don't have the power to turn their mates into wolves. But his life span would have had an increment."
My brows jumped. "So you're saying...if Ares eventually accepts me as his mate, then I would turn into a Lycan?"
The image of turning into a Lycan scared me. I had read books about the gruesome things which happen during their first transformation.
I shuddered just thinking about it.
"Well," She hesitated, looking into my eyes. "Yes. You would turn into a Lycan. But since you're human you would be a lot weaker than other full-blooded Lycans."
I didn't want to talk about the mating process and what came with it.
"If this was to work out –" I pointed at me and the window I knew was in Ares's room, "– then he has to learn to communicate. He has to learn to process things with an open mind. His actions are completely selfish and he knows that. You know that."
I went on. There was no stopping now. "I understand that Ares isn't the most expressive man in the entire fucking universe. But he has to fix his mistakes, apologize to me like a man and take the 'rule' out. For his happiness and the happiness of other wolves."
And as I admitted the truth, I realised how utterly selfish Ares was. He was willing to take away both the lives and happiness of his pack members for his own sake. Because of a feud he has with humans.
Madam Yelena only smiled when I was done ranting. Almost like she was proud of my outburst. "You truly are his perfect match."
"Has he ever fallen in love?" I questioned. "Before I ever came into the picture, did he ever fall in love?"
Immediately I asked the question Madam Yelena looked shocked – then pain flashed across her eyes. Then I knew I just asked a sensitive question.
She brushed my curls behind my ear. "That's the Alpha's story to tell. Not mine, dear Akira."
Suddenly, I was curious to know the answer. But I knew I would need the answer from the man himself.
She cleared her throat and wrapped her hands around herself. "Buckle up for a long night because I'm about to tell you a story you probably have heard thousands of times."
And I sat and listened to every word than came out of her words. Even when it came out in whispers, I hung on to her every word.