I’ve managed to stay away for a solid week. Having a class with Ransom makes this a nearly impossible feat—like reaching the summit of Mount Everest without a guide and lacking any survival skills.
To keep myself busy, and my mind off anything having to do with him, I throw myself into my studies. On the days I have to work, I use dancing to distract myself, which is also harder than hell, because every few minutes I find myself searching the corners for a pair of familiar dark eyes.
Thankfully, Ransom keeps his distance, too. I don’t know if he was trying to scare me off, but it works—kind of. Try as I might, I can’t stop thinking about him, about the kiss, the sex. Everything. He completely dominates my every thought. There’s no escape.
It’s driving me crazy, wanting to touch him, but forcing myself to stay away. It’s better for both of us this way. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. I just wish I didn’t have to see his face every day.
That’s why I’ve ditched yoga for running. I’ve found that it helps me clear my head far better than the downward facing dog. For just a little while, I can get lost in the steady rhythm of my feet slapping the pavement and the whirring of my breaths in my ears.
I don’t have a lot of stamina, but I can get a good mile in before I have to take a break. This morning, I hit the streets early while it’s still cool enough out to break a comfortable sweat. The path I take circles the campus. I pass a couple runners while I’m out, but it’s still pretty early, which means I have the trail mostly to myself.
I am coming up on the half-mile marker when someone falls into step beside me. Focused on the music between my ears and the sidewalk stretched out ahead, the interruption startles me and I misstep, nearly falling on my face.
“Whoa, careful there, grace.”
Ripping the bud from my ear, I glare up at Ransom. “You scared the hell out of me!”
Grinning in amusement, he holds his hands up in front of him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was just out for a run when I saw you. I didn’t know you ran.”
“I just started,” I grumble.
His gaze drifts down my body, and I can’t help feeling a little self-conscious. I don’t have any makeup on, I’m sweaty, and I probably stink. “Yeah? How far do you go?”
“Up to the dorms. About a mile or so.”
He looks ahead thoughtfully. “You could do more,” he decides.
I shake my head in annoyance. “No, I can’t. I just started. I need time to build up stamina.”
“You were going pretty hard. It took me a minute to catch up with you. If you slowed down a bit, you’d be able to hold out longer. Plus, it’s less wear and tear on your knees.”
I mull over this as I catch my breath. “Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep it in mind. I should get back to it thoughbefore my heart rate gets too low.”
“Mind if I run with you?”
I do, actually, but it’s hard to deny him when he’s looking at me like that, as if he’s hoping I’ll say yes, but worried I’ll say no. I want to turn him down. The voice in my head is telling me if I don’t walk away now, this last week will have been for nothing, but I find myself inclining my head and saying, “If you think you can keep up with me.”
His smirk is paralyzing. “I’ll do my best.”
We fall into a comfortable silence as we run side by side. The pace that Ransom sets is slower than my usual, but I find it’s easier to breathe when my heart isn’t slamming against my ribcage, and by the end of our run, we’ve covered a good two and a half miles, a whole one and a half more than my usual.
I’m out of breath when we stop at the end of campus, and my mouth is drier than the desert on a sunny afternoon, but I feel great. I feel healthy and my head is clear. I don’t know if that’s because the object of my obsession is standing beside me, or if it’s because I’m too tired to think, but it’s refreshing nonetheless.
I’m surprised to realize that running with Ransom wasn’t such a challenge after all. It was actually kind of fun. Even though we didn’t talk about anything, it was nice to have someone else to share it with. I’m not ready to let that feeling go just yet. There’s a little coffee shop at the end of the block and I am about to ask him if he wants to grab a cup with me, when Ransom speaks up.
“I need to get back and grab a shower. It was nice running into you. We should do it again sometime.”
“Oh, yeah, sure. Maybe tomorrow morning…if you’re out, because I will be. Running, that is.” I stumble over my words, feeling like a complete idiot because of how pathetic I sound.
The corners of his mouth tilt up. He steps into me, his hand covering my clammy arm, and kisses my cheek. “Sure thing, Hart. Same time and place.” As soon as I nod in agreement, he turns and heads off in the opposite direction, leaving me standing in the middle of the sidewalk wearing a ridiculous grin that I can’t seem to wipe off my face.
***
Annie is waiting for me when I get to class, which means I am back to sitting front and center. Having gotten used to being in the back of the room, the change is difficult to get used to. I feel exposed, vulnerable.
And Ransom’s concerted effort to avoid me makes me feel all the more conspicuous because instead of being invisible, I can feel how aware he is of me. Maybe the problem is that I am focusing too hard on him, but I can’t help it. Does the man have to be so damn irresistible?
This pattern continues into the following week. By now, it’s becoming old hat. He’s also stopped coming to the club, which is both a relief and a disappointment. I’m never certain how to read him, but the distance we’ve placed between us seems to finally be sticking. I have to admit, it’s getting easier to be around him. Each day that passes without incident is a little less torturous than the last. Now, I’d venture to say we’re almost comfortable in each other’s presence. Ransom’s even taken to speaking directly to me, and I’m learning to get a handle on the furious blush that constantly wants to seep into my face every time he does.
It’s Friday and we’ve just finished discussing religion in art, when Annie raises her hand.
Ransom points to her. “I have a question about my final assignment.”
He nods as he closes his book and gathers his papers. “Meet me at my desk after class.”
Great. Right now, I’d like more than anything to punch Annie a good one, because I know she will expect me to stay after with her, and that is exactly the kind of attention I am trying to avoid. We’re just beginning to learn to work within the same space, so the last thing Ransom and I need is more one-on-one time.
As the class files out moments later, I try my luck and give Annie a quick pat on the shoulder and issue an even quicker, “See you later.” But she grabs my elbow before I can get far, and pulls me back.
“Wait for me. I’ll just be a minute.”
Grumbling, I stand aside, eying the open door. My mind cycles through possible escape plans, but even having taken up running and pushing three miles a day won’t be enough to outrun the devil, which is exactly what Annie will turn into if I bolt. The girl is terrifying when she’s angry.
“I was thinking about this,” Annie says as she hands something over to Ransom. From where I stand, I can’t see what it is that she shows him, but whatever it is, he seems interested.
“This is good. It’s risky, definitely controversial, but if you’re up to the challenge, then I say go for it.”
My interest is piqued. Even though several feet still separate us, I lean closer. I still can’t see a damn thing, but I do catch the look on Annie’s face. It’s one of doubt, which is at total odds with Ransom’s expression.
“Okay, thanks, Professor Scott.” We walk out together. Annie remains tight-lipped all the way out the doors, until the anticipation becomes too much and I decide to pull answers out of her.
“Okay, talk. What was that about back there?”
She shrugs. “Nothing. Just an idea I was tossing around for the final project. I don’t know if I’m going to do it, though. Like Professor Scott said, it’s kind of risky.”
“How risky?” Annie isn’t the kind of person I would describe as a risk taker. In fact, she’s ultraconservative. The only risk I’ve ever witnessed her take is mixing darks with lights.
Instead of answering with words, she pulls a scrap of paper from inside the folder she carries between a stack of books and hands it over. It has the name of the school stamped at the top and I realize that it is an article that has been torn from the monthly newsletter that circulates campus.
As I read it over, my eyes grow wide. Shock fills my voice and I screech to a halt, turning on Annie, who’s chewing nervously on her bottom lip. “You’re going to pose nude?”
Several people on the quad glance at us, but continue walking. Annie clutches her books to her chest, growing pale. “I don’t know. The more I think about it, the more I think it’s a stupid idea. I mean, I still wear a shirt when I have sex, and I’ve been with Jason for years.”
I can see where that could be a problem. I don’t want to discourage my friend from taking chances, but this is the kind that I know she will regret. Friends don’t let friends make bad choices. “Sweetie, this is so not you.”
“I know.” She sighs, defeated. “I just thought it could be an easy A. Take my clothes off for an hour, let some people draw me, and then go.”
“Trust me,” I say as we resume walking. “Taking your clothes off for strangers isn’t as easy as it might sound. If you can’t do it for your boyfriend, then you definitely aren’t ready to do it for anyone else.”
She nods thoughtfully, and I know she’s hearing me. But I also know that even if I hadn’t said anything, she would have reached the same conclusion. Annie is smart that way. If she isn’t comfortable with something, then she steers clear of it. Which is why it’s so damn hard for me to understand why she chose the boyfriend she did.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do for your project?” she asks me.
“Nope. Then again,” I say, bumping her shoulder with mine, “maybe I’ll go pose nude in your stead.”
“Maybe you should,” she says, shocking me. “You’ve got the body for it, and I know you’re not shy.”
“I feel like I should be offended,” I tease.
“No, not at all. You’re just a heck of a lot more confident than I am. You should give it some serious consideration. And you never know, maybe that mystery man of yours will get jealous of all those people seeing what belongs to him, and drag you out of there by your hair like a total caveman.”
“Oh, yes, because I’ve always wanted my very own caveman. Those bulbous foreheads and ape-ish good looks make me weak in the knees.”
We laugh, but the closer we get to the parking lot, the more I consider her suggestion. My relationship with Ransom aside, it would be an excellent opportunity, and she’s right. Thanks to stripping, I don’t have any issue with showing my body to strangers. That ship’s sailed. It could be a chance to get a good final grade with unforeseen benefits.
Tucking the article in my pocket, I promise myself I will think more about it later. “So, who’s up for drinks tonight?”