Beau
It hurt to breathe, every muscle in my body aching the further from him I got.
“We’ll get through this,” I mumbled to myself, exiting the Uber’s car.
My mind still replayed the words he’d said. The hate in his eyes. To him, I was scum at the bottom of his shoes, and it hurt.
What I still didn’t understand was the why of it all? And what was worse, I still worried about him.
I shouldn’t be. Fuck, I should be wishing him a thousand deaths, but I didn’t. Had even sent Jax a text the moment the car came to pick me up. Asked him to be there for his best friend. To check on him.
We’d been fine all morning and into the early afternoon. I had to physically push him out of the kitchen to get some work done. Hendrix had been frisky—playful.
Wanted to touch me every chance he got, and then that phone conference happened.
What went into that room and the man who came out were two very different people.
“About time you arrived, slut,” Ruby’s voice came from behind me, closer to me than what I was comfortable with. The hell is she doing here?
“Don’t have time for your shit today,” I hissed out from between clenched teeth, my hand with the keys to my apartment shaking. Didn’t turn around to face her, instead, I picked up my pace and entered my building. Three flights of stairs up, and I was at my door. Tried to get in before she could say whatever she came to say, but I wasn’t quick enough.
I had the key in the lock when she grabbed my arm and turned me around. “People like you make me sick.”
“Then leave. See how easy that is…get the hell out of my face.” Without an ounce of care, I pushed her hand off me. Ruby stumbled at bit, but righted herself. Her eyes were blazing, a raging inferno of hate. “Talk—you got two minutes. I’m done with you and have nothing left to say.”
How had I missed her dislike for me until now?
“Love the fact you are still trying to sit pretty on that high horse of yours…funny, really.”
“Goodbye.” Turning around, I opened my door. Got one foot in, before she spoke again.
“Wonder what your family will think of their princess playing the part of a rich man’s toy? His plaything.” Her gloat—how easily she would destroy me without an ounce of remorse—hurt. “And before you ask, I was there that night. My boyfriend’s family was invited to attend, and we tagged along.”
“Leave.” Tremors started to rock me, my nerves crashing. My body felt as though I’d been in the ring with a prized fighter and he’d beaten the snot out of me.
Her gleeful cackle was loud, hurt my head. “So, imagine my surprise when I see you walk in on the arm of one Hendrix Parker. Everyone was shocked. From what Silvia, Max’s mom, explained, he’s been a monk since his wife died more than four years ago.”
Wife. That one word destroyed my world. That niggling doubt was now confirmed.
My tattered existence that was already barely hanging on now lay in ashes at Ruby’s feet.
Hendrix had been married, and she had died. He loved another, and it was very likely that he still did. A woman that wasn’t paid and used, like he said. Someone who he saw as his equal and not a whore.
“Ruby, you need to get the fuck out.” My voice sounded strange, hollow. Muscles coiled, I felt trapped. A cornered snake ready to attack anything it considered a threat. “Just go.”
“You didn’t know? That’s too rich!”
“Last warning,” I choked out. The knot in my throat was too large for me to contain. Had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears at bay.
“Not before I leave you with a parting gift, my dear Beau.” Ruby got in my face, her finger jabbing into my chest—nails digging in. “You make me sick, pretending you’re so perfect…unreproachable.” Taking in a deep breath, she let it out slowly as her smile grew. “It will be my greatest joy to see you brought down like the garbage you are.” She dug her finger in deeper, oblivious to the panic starting to rush through my system. How shallow my breaths had become. “In that pitiful head of yours, you forgot a very important fact: people talk. Gossip, and its known in our circles that men like women of loose morals. The kind that sell themselves to the highest bidder. Sugars are not that hard to pick out in that crowd, Miss Carter, and I am going to enjoy exposing you. Wonder what your dad will say—”
She didn’t get to finish her diatribe, my fist to her face silencing the cunt.
A dark red haze had descended upon my vision, and I reacted. Had no clue how many times I punched her, just that when she fell back against the opposite wall, her nose was bleeding and upper lip was split.
Blood gushed from her wounds, but I wasn’t moved to help. My hands did not register their own bruising.
Instead, I crouched to her level and divulged my own warning. “You do that, be my guest, but please keep in mind that I’ll repay you with the same kindness. Max might be here today, but tomorrow is not guaranteed…especially if he were to find out you fucked his teammate.”
Cupping her nose, she glared at me. “Bullshit.”
“Try me.” With that, I stood and ruffled her hair. “There’s a video, and I have it in my possession. Might be from a few months after the breakup, but Max wouldn’t know that if I alter the date on the film and edited a few things. Your call, Ruby.”
“How?” Meek now, she tried to give her best contrite expression. Bitch.
“You used my laptop to upload and then burn a copy, babe. But here’s the kicker…did you delete it after?”
“You can’t. It’ll ruin everything!”
“Not my problem, Rubes. But if I were you, I’d never show my face around me again.” With nothing else to say, I turned and walked into my home, slamming the door closed behind me. Her screams of frustration followed, and I crumbled into a heap in the middle of my living room floor.
The pain was too much. All the revelations.
Her betrayal. His treatment.
I cried. Sobs of grief rocked me, shook me so hard I could barely breathe.
Chest aching, I clutched my phone in my hand. Through blurry eyes, I typed one word out to the sole person I trusted.
Help. ~Beau
XXX
“This is all my fault,” Zoe said from her place beside me on my bed. We were on day two of my exile from humanity and sharing a carton of Rocky Road. Thank God her boyfriend had gone to Brazil to visit family last week and she’d decided to stay back. “Had I not pushed you to try the sugar lifestyle, we wouldn’t be here gaining pounds and crying over every asshole in a romcom from the ‘90s.”
“Therapy wasn’t meant to be pretty, dork.” The phone beside me vibrated, and I looked down at the screen. His name flashed across it—attempt number twenty today to get a hold of me, and I let it go to voicemail. A minute later it chimed with a voice message…and then a text.
“Not that I’m trying to rush you or anything…” she trailed off, spoon full of chocolate halfway to her mouth.
“But I’m not ready to deal with him or his pompous attitude.” Mimicking her action, I swiped another spoonful of yumminess. Wasn’t going to deny myself of the sole thing making me happy. Ice cream was God at that moment. “He can wait until I feel like it or go and jump off any bridge he’d like.”
“Men suck balls at times.”
“Amen.”
“Idiots.”
“Word to your mother.”
A loud knock on the door startled us both. We jumped, and I, being the klutzy individual in the room, fell from the bed. Landed on my ass, and hard.
Sheets wrapped around my legs, I was a tangled burrito mess.
“Jesus, are you okay?” Zoe tried to keep her face devoid of humor, bit her lip hard to keep in the laugh. “Need help?”
“Why? So you can drop me?” I flipped her off with one hand and pushed to a sitting position with the other. “Jerk.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that…” at my raised brow she snorted, which turned into giggles on their way to becoming a deep, full-belly cackle “…not my fault this shit happens to you when I am around. It’s priceless. Share it with the world, Beau. Make it a better place, one laugh at a time.”
“Kiss my—” Another knock, harder that time and after fighting with my blanket, I managed to stand and make my way toward the front door. Fist pounded now, and I rose onto the tips of my toes to look through the peephole. “What the?” Pulling it open, I looked at the last person I thought I’d see at my door in the middle of a workday. “Dad? Everything okay?”
Knowing eyes roamed my face, a frown on his. “You don’t look well. Sick?”
“Something like that?” Looking down, I noticed he had a bag of what smelled like Chinese food in his hands. “Dropping off or coming in?”
“Get the plates, and I’ll pull everything out.” Dad walked in then and found Zoe putting on some shoes, handbag in hand. “Sorry, kiddo. Didn’t know you had company. I can come back at dinnertime if you prefer?”
“Nope, you stay, Mr. Carter,” Zoe chimed in before I could answer. “I was just heading out, have a meet-up with a sorority sister at two that I cannot miss.”
More like: I am getting out so you two can talk, and you better fill me in later.
“Are you sure? You could join us…”
“All good, I promise.” Coming over to me, she pulled me in for a hug. “Be back after, and I’ll fill you in on what Bethany had to say. She’s livid, but might have the best solution for all parties involved.”
“Tell her I said to kick butt and take names, so I can laugh later.” Added a wink at the end.
“Will do.”
We watched her go in silence. Once the door was closed, I left dad and walked into my kitchen. Grabbed two plates, forks, and three cans of Coke.
He was standing with his back to me, taking out containers and setting them down on the small kitchenette set I owned.
Popped open the cartons and then took his seat. “Come eat before it gets cold. You need it.”
“Stop it with that Spidey sense thing you do,” I grumbled, placing his two cans and plate down. I let him serve himself before sitting and doing the same. Piled on some noodles and chicken with broccoli before popping the lid to my own drink.
In the distance, my phone rang and I made no move to answer.
“Avoiding someone?” Wise eyes peered at me, dared me to deny it. “Or is there another reason as to why my daughter is home on a workday, looking frumpy and with bloodshot eyes? Why she missed a planned lunch with her mother and sister to discuss wedding details.”
Appetite gone; I pushed my plate away. “So, she sent you to berate me for not doing as I am told?”
“No. This social visit is all my doing.” With that, he moved my food in front of me again. “Eat, pumpkin. You look like you haven’t had a decent meal in days.”
“After you tell me why you’re here.” Dad was taken aback by the hostility in my tone, and for a fraction of a second, I felt bad, but it too passed. I was sick and tired of everyone pulling me in whatever direction they liked. My life was not theirs to play with.
“Kiddo, talk to me. This isn’t like you.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Nothing at all.” My lip trembled.
“Baby girl?” he asked, the concern in his tone like a blow. Our eyes met then, and it was as if the world had decided to crash into me with the speed of a freight train. Everything I tried for days to suppress spilled out.
“I’m done, Daddy.” Tears spilled down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them off. “Just done giving a shit about everything and everyone…it’s exhausting knowing that all everyone cares about is what I can do for them.”
“Beau, that’s not true…your mother—”
Holding a hand up, I cut him off. “Let me stop you right there before you defend her.” Standing from my seat, I grabbed my soda and put some distance between us. “I’ve never doubted Mom’s love, just her inability to stop using me for her every whim. Do I look like a lap dog to you? Were the plans when I was born to put me in the position of being dependable and useful? Because that’s what it feels like at times.”
“No. Never, kid.” Dad stood too and walked over, took the Coke from my hand, and placed it on a small shelf on my wall. He pulled me in for a hug and let me break down. Cry out my hurt. “If there’s one thing I’ve done right in this world, it’s you and your sister, no matter how spoiled she is at times. You two are my greatest joys, Beau. Please don’t ever question that.”
“Then why doesn’t anyone ever care about how I feel or value my worth? It’s not fair and I—I can’t continue being a doormat.”
“Baby, your Mother loves you. Couldn’t be prouder of the woman you’ve become, as am I,” he interjected, and I scoffed, pulling back from him. Put distance between us. “Maybe her focus is more on Gloria, but there’s a reason for that. Not the best one, but there is.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Hit me. Amuse me.”
“Because the girl thinks through her ass at times, Beau. She’s not you.” Once more he ignored my need for space and pulled me back to the table, placing a fork in my hand and sitting down to eat. “That girl never focused on school or her future. Heck, sixty percent of what goes through her head is selfish, but it leaves just as quick. All we want to do is help her reach her full potential. Give Aubrey a good life, and that, pumpkin, is something we’ve never had to worry about with you.”
Won’t deny that hearing that soothed a small part of my heart.
“Thank you.”
“But there’s more, and you are hiding it. Talk to me.” Dad bit into his egg roll and then gave me a pointed look. “Spill.”
“I fell in love.” There. Like a Band-Aid.
“And?” Astute old man continued probing. “Because for you to be in this kind of mood, something had to have happened.”
“He doesn’t feel the same. Waste of time. Hendrix—” Shit. Double shit.
“Isn’t that your boss’s name?”
“Yeah, leave it at that.” Could feel the blood pool at my cheeks in embarrassment. “He doesn’t see me as anything more than a little girl who works for him.”
“Then make him see you as the mature young woman that I know.” Not what I expected. A part of me was waiting for a reproach, to be told that I was an idiot for looking at a man so much older than me. And that’s without him knowing the full truth.
That I was in a relationship with a man that paid my schooling in order to have me on his arm. To show me off.
“Not that simple, old man. Loving him and being rejected hurts.”
“Nothing comes without a gamble, Beau. Best things in life hurt, test your resolve, but seeing it through and coming out on top makes it all worthwhile. If you truly love him as you say, then fight.”