Zach.
My cheeks and neck where Damien had hit me burned, but the physical pain was the least of my worries. All I could feel was guilt and remorse just thinking about what Blaire must be going through right now.
I hated myself for subjecting her to this humiliation, and it was because I failed to be a man and control my dick. If only I could undo my mistakes.
My body, mind, and soul craved her with an intensity that scared me. The thought of ending the night without plunging into her pussy nearly drove me crazy. I couldn’t resist my desire to claim her, smolder her with my infinite passionate kisses, caressing, and fondling. I wasn’t one to accept defeat – not when we were so close to expressing our feelings out in the open. And by some stroke of misfortune, our friends had to rain on our parade!
And now, not only did they walk in on our business uninvited, they made us face our harsh reality… our worst nightmare.
Kenzo’s firm right arm held on to my neck as he pulled me and the furious Damien outside the hotel. We walked in silence until we found a secluded field outside the building.
“Great, let’s stop here.” Kenzo’s voice rang in my head, but I was too pissed to listen. I wasn’t ready to confront Damien yet. Kenzo alone? Yes, since he’s my friend and was already in the know about my feelings for Blaire. But Damien’s presence dulled my enthusiasm.
The minute we separated from Kenzo, Damien charged at me again, bracing up for another round of attacks. Kenzo’s swift intervention held him back. I stood rigid, glaring at him. The last thing I would do was to fight him back, even if he shoots me. He has every right to let off steam and express his anger. I deserved his rage. I knew I could beat him to a pulp if we were in saner circumstances, then I would have the right to defend myself. But tonight, I must admit that I was wrong and deserved whatever comes to me. The only thing I would never tolerate was an attack on my girl, Blaire. All hell would break loose should any animal try to harm her. Not under my watch.
“I hate you, perv!” Damien blurted. “You animal! No wonder you were beating off every guy that comes her way. No wonder you stopped Ricky from having her. You disgust me! Big brother my ass!”
He went on and on, spewing profanity after profanity from his mouth. I bite my lower lip. I let him have a field day insulting me.
“Oh, how I wish to have a gun right now. I swear, I won’t hesitate to blast your fucking head off!” His eyes were blazing.
“Damien, shut the fuck up!” Kenzo growled in anger, having enough of Damien’s tantrums.
“No, Kenzo!” Damien spat. “I won’t shut up. This stupid punk is destroying my cousin and tarnishing our family’s image! He’s no longer related to us, he can walk away from this! But how about Blaire, huh?”
“Exactly! You said it yourself. He is no longer related to you!” Kenzo defended me coldly. “So, why is their relationship wrong?”
“People will not see it like that!” Damien argued. “People will view her as a brother-fucker for the rest of her life!”
“Hey, watch your fucking mouth!” I roared at him. Hearing him say that made me want to strangle him with bare hands.
“Why? You can’t take that, huh?” Damien glared at me. “I didn’t do that to her! You did! You should be charged for sexual assault! Make it look like you forced her. Maybe that’s the only way you can remove the tarnish in her name!”
Kenzo raised his brow. “Wow, you didn’t strike me as someone with a very creative imagination!”
Damien sighed. “Blaire is not your blood so you can’t understand,” he said to Kenzo who responded by shrugging. Then his crimson cold eyes returned to me.
“I trusted you, you son of a bitch! I really thought you genuinely cared about Bee!”
“I did!” I snapped back at him. “I more than cared for her. I loved her!” I raised my head to the sky, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry.” I couldn’t believe I said that. I didn’t even know what I was sorry for. Was it because I fell helplessly in love with Blaire? Or could I be sorry for hurting Damien’s feelings so bad? Was I sorry because I wasn’t strong enough to stop what I felt for her? That I wasn’t able to protect her from all these? I just couldn’t place my fingers on it.
“Sorry for what, huh? That you let your dick get the better of you? That you put your perversions ahead of your common sense?” he asked.
I sighed, not able to give him an answer.
“See, I understand that Blaire is gorgeous and hot, but as her big brother, you should have been protecting her from the beasts! But what did you do? You corrupted her! You only wanted her all to yourself and no one else. You knew she’s younger than you, vulnerable and naive. You were supposed to put keep the hounds out, not sleep with her yourself.”
Every second that passed, my inner turmoil increased. I hated Damien right now, but I must give him credit for some of his words. I loved Blaire beyond life itself, but it didn’t change the realities of my selfishness. My obsession with her had blinded my eyes to the consequences of our actions.
Damien paused to catch his breath, then he continued. “Our family will be so upset when they learn about this. I just don’t get it.” He looked confused. He mumbled some inaudible words to himself, then he looked up at me again, his eyes questioning me. “How long has this been going on?”
I stared back at him blankly. “A few months,” I answered. There was no point in ignoring his question.
“Bee’s father will never let this pass. He already didn’t care much about Blaire. Now, you’ve just made things worse for her.” He paused again, heaved a deep breath, opened his mouth to speak, but changed his mind.
The three of us were silent for some minutes. I started pacing around, gathering my thoughts. I knew that I must speak, do something to explain my side of the story.
When I got hold of myself, I found my lost voice. “I love Blaire, with my heart and soul.”
Damien scoffed and shook his head. “Love won’t save her from the shame,” he muttered.
“Maybe, but that’s the truth,” I said, feeling more confident than before. “What I have for her is true love. I’m not just fucking her. Even if we remove sex from our relationship, nothing about how much love I have for her will change.”
I paused, waiting for reactions from Damien who seemed to have relaxed. When he didn’t say anything other than to look at me with disdain, I continued.
“I’m trying to find a future where we can end up together.” I might sound stupid for saying that but I had no choice. I must be truthful to the core. “We just connected the first time we met at the concert in Charleston. She swept me off my feet instantly and something told me that I’ve known her before, but I couldn’t recall where. By the time we found out who we were to each other a few days later, it was too late. I have already fallen hard for her. I couldn’t change my feelings for her... Blaire is my life. I can’t trade her for anything. I know...” I hesitated, picking my words. “...look, I know our family, the Stewarts, will be mad at me and her, and I’m ready to face the consequences. I’m ready to defend my love for Blaire. I’m ready to protect her from their wrath.”
The look on Damien’s face told me that I was only making a fool of myself. He glared at me like I was crazy. He scoffed and shook his head slowly.
“Good luck,” he exclaimed with contempt.
“Be objective for once about this whole thing, Damien,” Kenzo finally said. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “We can't change what has been there all along.”
Damien shifted his hateful gaze from me to him. “Really?” he asked with sarcasm.
“Yup. Zach here may be foolish, but he’s nonetheless in love with Bee. He fell in love with her when they both didn’t know they used to be brother and sister. If the situation were different, then we can blame him. Let’s be logical. There was no one and nothing to blame but just pure bad luck.” His wise words cut through my heart. If only Damien could see the wisdom.
Instead, his countenance remained belligerent. “Why do I have the feeling that you knew about this all along?” he asked quizzically, looking at Kenzo with suspicion.
“What does it matter?” Kenzo asked with raised shoulders.
“So, you did, and you kept it away from me?” He sounded hurt.
“Don’t blame him. Blame me for everything,” I growled.
“I’m not talking to you!” Damien snapped coldly.
“Be sensible, Damien. Whether I knew before now or not, it doesn’t make any difference. My point is, right now, we need to know the way forward,” Kenzo said.
Damien opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but he changed his mind and started pacing around, staring down at his feet in thought. I guessed he realized that as Blaire’s cousin, nobody would ever feel comfortable letting him in on such a sensitive secret in the first place.
After some minutes of silence among us, he stopped pacing, looked long at me, heaved a deep sigh, rubbed the nape of his neck, and said coolly, “Fine, have it your way.”
I didn’t know what to say or what he was driving at, so I waited.
“I can keep your secret, but you better find a way out of this mess soon,” he continued. “I would hate for Bee to be shamed by our family because of you and your lack of self-control.” He emphasized the last word.
I nodded but didn’t reply. The relief that washed over me could not be explained. This was what I wanted, for him to calm down and respect the bro code of understanding.
“Remember how much Mr. Stewart hates scandals.” He wasn’t done yet with his do-good lectures. “This is huge. He would make this go away, but it could be at her expense because evidently, he loves you more like a son. This would not end well for her. Think about it.”
He was right and I already knew all these. “I will never allow our father to hurt her, trust me. I swear with my life to always protect her,” I replied firmly, meaning every single word in those promises. I paused, then quickly added, “Thanks, Damien.”
He nodded and moved away from me. Even if we had yet to reconcile as cousins, at least, we reached a logical conclusion. That would suffice for now.
I heard my phone ring from my hip pockets. I removed it and saw Dad’s name on the screen. My heart started beating fast. What a coincidence? My father was the last person I wanted to hear from right now.
My hands shook. I stared at the phone, indecisive on whether to pick up the call or not.