ElleIt’s been a couple of days since I learned what Nic and Christine did, and I still can’t believe
it. Everything makes so much sense now; there were so many warning signs that I ignored. Even more than their deceit, I’m upset that they made me look like a fool.
Who was I kidding, walking around town like a lovesick puppy, so excited about what I thought was my new amazing relationship with Nic? But, of course, a guy like him would never go for some- one like me unless he was being paid. How could I have been so naive?
After I got home from the farmers’ market, I spent the rest of the weekend lying in bed—watch- ing reality TV, eating every type of junk food known to man, and feeling sorry for myself.
Today, I’m forcing myself to rejoin the world. I take an extra-long shower, put on makeup, and dress in a cute outfit. They say if you look good, you feel good, right? Besides, I’m a firm believer in tough love, and in all honesty, my solo pity party was getting pathetic.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as I leave my apartment, and I pull it out. It’s Nic again. He’s been calling me nonstop, but I haven’t answered. I don’t know what he has to say for himself, and right now I don’t care. Lying to me continuously for weeks isn’t something I can forgive easily, and I’m not ready to just sweep this under the rug.
I try not to think about Nic as I drive to class. It’s the first day of the bar review sessions he enrolled me in, and after three hours of mentally going back and forth, I decided to still attend, especially since I already took the day off work. I’m determined to see this through, and I won’t let Nic take my pride and my chance at becoming a lawyer.
I blast ’90s pop songs as I drive, and by the time I get to class, I’m already feeling better. It’s amaz- ing what a little Britney Spears and some fresh air can do for your mood.
Nervous, I take a seat, feeling like a teenage
girl on her first day of high school. I’m finally start-
ing to follow my dreams, and even though I’m ex- cited, it’s still a whole lot intimidating. Luckily, the teacher is a sweet older woman who knows what she’s doing. Somehow, I’m able to get Nic off my mind for a few hours while we discuss the bar exam and go through some study techniques.
As I push the front door open after class, I stop in my tracks. I do a double-take to make sure I’m seeing right. Nic is standing next to my car.
My heart starts to pound, and I think about turning around and going back inside. He hasn’t noticed me yet; I could still get away without talk- ing to him.
Get a grip, Elle, you’re a grown woman.
What am I going to do, hide every time I run into him for the rest of my life? I need to face him sometime.
Despite how much I don’t want to be around Nic, I can’t stop myself from noticing that he looks sinfully sexy. A few days apart almost made me forget about his chiseled jawline and strong cheek- bones.
He betrayed you, remember?
I chastise myself, determined not to lose my re-
solve to be angry with him simply because he can pull off a casual T-shirt and jeans better than just about anyone.
He’s leaning against my passenger side door, his hands in his pockets. As I approach, he looks up and our eyes meet. I hate that those dark brown eyes can still make my stomach flip, even after ev- erything we’ve been through.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, keeping some distance between us. Even though I can’t stop my overactive libido from spiraling out of control around him, I’m still in touch with the sane part of my brain that’s pissed at him for lying to me.
“Sorry to ambush you like this, but you wouldn’t answer my calls.” He’s watching me carefully, but I don’t budge.
“What is there to say?” I ask, throwing out my arms in exasperation. “You lied to me.”
“I know,” he says quietly. “And you have no idea how much I regret that. Would it be okay if we go somewhere and talk?”
I think about saying no, about just walking away and never speaking to him again. But then I think about all the sweet moments we’ve had, and all the things he’s done for me. I sigh, nodding. The
least I can do is hear his side of the story. I owe it to myself to at least try to understand.
Luckily, there’s a coffee shop next to the re- view class, and we head in and find a table. Once we’re settled, Nic takes a deep breath.
“Elle, the truth is that the weekend I spent with you was more than just a job. From the moment I first saw you, something was different.”
“Why should I believe that?” I ask, not meeting his eyes. “You lied about everything else. Do you know how stupid this makes me feel?”
“Look, I know I don’t have a ton of credibility right now, but after that first weekend, I stopped seeing clients.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I barely knew you, but after our kiss, I couldn’t stand the thought of being with another woman. So I resigned, and I have no idea what I’m going to do for money. It’s fucking terrifying, but the thought of going back to that job, to the way I used to live, isn’t something I can stomach. Not after meeting you.”
I keep staring at my cup of coffee, trying to de- tect if anything he’s saying is bullshit. He seems completely genuine and honest, but I’m still afraid to believe him.
“You showed me that sex is more than just a transaction,” he says, his voice becoming more ur- gent. “I’d never felt anything like that before. I’ve fallen in love with you, Elle.”
I finally look up and meet his gaze, and I can see his eyes are full of emotion. Somehow, I know with absolute certainty that despite whatever lies he told in the past, in this moment he’s being com- pletely sincere. Being the real Nic.
“You showed me what love felt like, and it’s been missing from my life for so long.” Nic reach- es out and places his hand on mine.
I’m so overwhelmed and shaken, my eyes fill with tears. I still haven’t said anything. My mind is going a million miles a minute, and I’m in total shock.
He loves me?
“Will you forgive me?” he asks, squeezing my hand. His touch sends electricity up my arm, and my heart skips a beat as I stare at him.
“You were going to tell me?” I ask finally, try- ing to keep my voice from cracking.
“Of course. I was coming to tell you that day, but Christine beat me to it. I was only waiting to
make sure I had everything in order first. I broke every rule I had for myself—before you, I’d never kissed a client, and I was . . .” He stops and pushes his hands into his hair.
“What?” I ask, now curious. I’m also com- pletely surprised that he’s never kissed a client be- fore. It probably shouldn’t, but it makes me feel special somehow.
He shakes his head. “It was stupid.” “Tell me, Nic.”
“I didn’t kiss on the mouth.” “Never?” I ask.
“Never.”
His deep voice hits me straight in the chest. Re- membering our first kiss at the wedding makes my heart ache.
“And . . . I was saving oral sex for the girl I was in love with.”
His words take a moment to register. “Serious- ly? You never went down on a client before?”
He shakes his head, his sad eyes meeting mine. Even though I should still be mad, should be
disgusted with his career choices, part of me just feels sad. Sad for him, this sweet, broken man who gave me his heart so easily, who left the only world he knew for a shot at love. When I think about the women who have hired him, think about him play- ing some fantasy role but always holding part of his true self back, it makes my throat tighten. It’s then I know that I can’t stay mad at him.
“I never did anything like that with anyone be- fore. It was you, Elle. You made me want to break all my rules. Only you.”
I nod, taking in his words. I know Nic’s a good person, and he’s trying really hard right now to make amends.
“If we’re going to do this, if I forgive you, I want it all. I want to be a part of your life; I want to meet your parents. I want this to be for real.”
He smiles at me. “You want to meet my par- ents?”
I stare into his eyes. “Of course I do.”
He nods. “You can have anything you want if you’ll be mine.”
I lean toward him and run a hand through his thick hair. He tilts my chin up and gives me a sweet,
gentle kiss. It feels so good to be with him that I know this is the right decision. Lately, I’ve been all about taking more risks, and while this is a big one, I know it’s what I need to do.
“Let’s get out of here.” Nic stands and grabs my hand, and we walk outside together.
“Do you want to come over?” I ask as we reach the parking lot.
Nic nods, throwing an arm around my shoul- der. He pulls me in for another tight hug before we get into our cars, and the whole ride home, I’m grinning to myself.
I’m going to be with Nic, for real. No secrets, no lies, no questions. Just us.
We meet outside my apartment, and I walk up to his car as he parks.
“So that explains the fancy car, then,” I say, re- alizing for the first time why Nic can actually af- ford his lifestyle.
He laughs. “Yeah, I guess the job did have some perks. Although, I’ll probably have to sell it now.”
I put my arms around him. “Whatever happens next for you, I know you’ll be great,” I say, bury- ing my face in his chest. “Besides, I’ll be there to
help.”
When I lift my gaze to stare into his eyes, he shakes his head with a smile. “How’d I get this lucky?”
“Just wait until you see what I have planned for you later,” I say with a wink, turning to walk inside.
“I think I have an idea.” He smirks, giving my butt a slap.
We laugh, and as I walk into my apartment, I can’t help but think how far we’ve come from the first time he came here. I smile to myself, thinking how embarrassed I was about getting too drunk, and how understanding he was about it.
“Take a seat. I have a bottle of malbec in the kitchen,” I say, gesturing for Nic to sit on the couch. I pour us each a glass of wine and hand one to Nic, settling in next to him.
“Your apartment looks even better than before,” he says, looking around the room. “Or maybe it’s just more pleasant in here because you aren’t puk- ing in the bathroom right now.”
“Hey,” I say in mock offense as he smirks at me. “I think after the other day, we’re even when it
comes to the drinking.”
“Touché.” He grins.
“So, that night, after the wedding, did you actu- ally want to sleep with me? Or were you just trying to make sure I had fun?” I ask tentatively. I believe he does love me, but you can’t blame me for being curious about some of the details.
“You have no idea how much I wanted to.” He rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “I felt so bad that you were sick, but in a way, I was relieved, because I knew it would be wrong to sleep with you.”
I nod, everything making more sense now. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I have to ask.” I bite my lip. “Why’d you take the escort job in the first place?”
“I want to be completely honest with you, so feel free to ask anything,” he says, watching me intently. “The escort thing just kind of happened. My friend owns the company, and he offered me the job. I was a natural, and the money was so good that I stuck around and never really had a reason to leave.” He pauses. “Until you.”
I swallow as I listen. It makes sense, and hon- estly, who am I to judge his choices?
“What about everything you told me about your dreams? Do you really want to build houses?”
“That part was all true,” he says, nodding. “It’s always been my dream.”
“Then you should do that,” I say, and take a sip of my wine. “Remember our pact? I’m taking the bar after this review course is over, so it’s time you hold up your end.”
“Well, I can’t break the pact now, can I?” He smiles, staring into my eyes again.
I scoot closer to him so our bodies are touch- ing. When our lips meet, electricity shoots through me. My lips part as his tongue enters my mouth, and I grip the back of his head. He moves his hands along my arms, sending a shiver through me and straight between my legs. He grabs my hips, pull- ing me closer against him, and I let out a quiet moan.
I’m totally consumed by him, and it’s like I’m kissing him for the first time again. But it’s even better, because this time it’s all real.