Ava was losing herself.
The world around her had turned into a blur of faces, words, expectations, all bouncing off her skull like stones in a river. But the worst part? The worst part was Nathaniel’s voice.
It had been days, but it still haunted her. His words, those poisoned promises he’d whispered under the dim lights of her room, still played in her mind on a loop.
We could have it all, Ava. Perfect. Everything we ever wanted.
But perfect was a lie, wasn’t it? Because what had she been, before she’d started listening to him? What had she let herself become in the pursuit of a future built on promises that only served to bury who she really was?
She didn’t know anymore.
Ava stumbled through the motions of school like a ghost, every step an echo of someone she didn’t recognize. But the worst part? She could feel herself slipping, spiraling further, as Nathaniel’s words gnawed at her. A future. A life. The right choice. The perfect life.
She wasn’t sure she cared anymore.
So, she found herself behind the school that afternoon, tucked into the quiet shadows, staring at the empty space between the trees. The wind was cold against her skin, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.
Her mind was a storm. Then, she heard footsteps.
At first, she thought it was a teacher, or maybe one of her classmates who had come to ask if she was okay.
But when she turned her head, she saw him—Jace.
He was standing a few feet away, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets, looking as out of place as she felt.
Jace didn’t joke this time. He didn’t smirk. He didn’t have anything sarcastic to say. He just looked at her—really looked at her, like he was searching for something buried deep inside of her.
For a moment, neither of them said a word. The wind carried the faint sounds of the school’s noise in the distance, but here, in this empty space, everything felt heavy, suffocating.
“Why are you here?” she asked quietly, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Jace didn’t move. His face was unreadable, like he was wrestling with himself, but then he took a few slow steps toward her. He sat down beside her on the grass without asking.
Ava didn’t move away. She didn’t want to.
His presence was an anchor, even if it didn’t make sense.
“I thought you’d be with Nathaniel,” he said softly, his eyes on the ground, not meeting hers.
Her heart clenched. “I was. I was supposed to be.”
“Then why aren’t you?” he asked, his voice barely audible, like he was afraid of the answer.
She didn’t know what to say. The words were too heavy. Her mind was a mess of doubts, memories, and confusion.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she whispered, her voice cracking at the edges. “I thought I did. I thought if I did everything right, I’d be happy. If I just followed the rules, made the right choices, I’d find my way. But I’m just… lost.”
Jace didn’t say anything for a long time. He just sat there, shoulders hunched, face etched with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.
“You said you don’t know who you are,” he murmured after a while. “Maybe you’re just someone who was never allowed to find out.”
Ava blinked at him. “What do you mean?”
“You were so busy trying to fit into everyone’s idea of who you should be. Trying to be perfect for them. For Nathaniel, for your parents, for… everyone but you,” he said, his voice rough, as if he understood what it felt like to lose yourself.
She swallowed hard, her chest aching. “So, what now? What do I do if I don’t even know who I am anymore?”
Jace turned to face her then, eyes intense, like he was seeing her for the first time. “You stop hiding. You stop pretending to be someone you’re not. And you start asking yourself what you want. Not what they want.”
Her heart skipped a beat.
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time,” Jace replied softly. “Sometimes, it’s okay to be broken. It’s okay to feel.”
The air between them thickened. His words were like a quiet balm, and yet they burned, because Ava had spent so long trying to bury everything—every tear, every feeling, every bit of herself she didn’t think would fit into anyone’s idea of perfection.
“I spent so many years pretending I didn’t care,” he continued, his voice low and raw. “Pretending nothing hurt, nothing mattered. But you know what? That was a lie. And now… I just don’t know how to be this guy.”
Ava looked at him, feeling something shift inside of her. “What guy?”
“The guy who wants to be real,” he said, his gaze dropping to the grass beneath them. “The guy who sees someone and doesn’t want to hurt them anymore. The guy who’s afraid that everything he’s done has broken you beyond repair.”
The words sank into her like stones. She didn’t know what to do with them.
Jace’s hand moved slowly toward hers, hovering, unsure. “I want to be better. For you. For me. For everyone I’ve ever hurt.”
She turned her face toward him, and for the first time in a long time, she saw something in his eyes that wasn’t arrogance or pride. It was raw. Vulnerable.
Ava didn’t know how to respond. The silence between them stretched, both of them hanging in the same space, not quite touching, but almost.
Then, slowly, he leaned forward, his forehead brushing against hers. His breath was warm against her skin.
“Stay,” he whispered. “Just long enough for me to stop being him.”