With a struggle, I manage to open my eyes. I’m feeling groggy and realise I’m in my room on my bed. My Dad is leaning against a wall with arms crossed and a not-impressed look on his face. My brothers stand in front of my door as if guarding it, and my mother wipes the blood from my arm where I have been bitten. I flinch from the pain and pull my arm away from her as she dabs too close to the bite mark.
‘Lylah,’ Dad says. ‘I know you are grieving, but what on earth were you thinking? Attacking Tamara and Vicky like that? They are both seriously hurt!’
‘Good! They got what they deserved. I hope they never come near me again!’
‘Lylah!’ Everyone says.
‘They said it’s my fault Micah’s dead. Do you expect me to sit there and listen to them ridicule me and blame me for my mate’s death?’ I argue.
‘No, but violence is not the answer, Lylah,’ Dad replies.
‘Oh? Are you sure about that, Dad? Because it seems to have worked. I can’t see Tamara or Vicky bullying me anymore,’ I say sarcastically.
He lets out a growl of warning.
My mother frowns, ‘Lylah, let me heal this bite mark,’ she says, reaching for my arm.
‘No, don’t touch me,’ I say, moving away from my bed.
‘Lylah…’ she says.
I turn to face them all, ‘I want you to leave me alone,’ I say.
Theo, Leo and Dad stare sadly at each other.
‘Lylah, you’re hurt,’ Dad says, taking a step forward.
‘I don’t care,’ I say, walking onto my terrace. I stare at Micah’s grave. ‘Nothing matters anymore. Just leave me be.’
I hear them silently leave, not saying a word and keeping my back to them.
***
It’s been four months since Micah’s death. Every night I watch the sunset from my terrace, holding my dagger close to my heart. The only time I leave my room is during the night when everyone is asleep. That’s when I climb down from my balcony and sit by Micah’s grave in the moonlight. Some nights I fall asleep on his grave. It’s the only way I can sleep without having nightmares of his death, rather than waking up hysterical, exhausted and drenched in sweat.
A tray of food is left outside my room each day, but I struggle to eat because of the deep depression I’m in. I’m angry that our pack warriors have found no trace of the vampires after all this time. I hate seeing them return each week, knowing they have found no leads. A few more humans have been killed since Micah’s death. The humans are convinced it’s wolves and have organised hunting parties that now hunt and kill wild wolves each night.
Everyone knocks on my door to see me most days, but I keep it locked and ignore them. I never want to go through the pain of losing a loved one again. So, I have disconnected myself from them all. My heart aches all day and all night. The flame I once felt in my heart had gone out the moment Micah died.
Every time I close my eyes, I see him, and it feels like a little more of me dies. Gazing up at the moon, I hear my name and flinch, ‘Lylah.’ I grip my knife closer to my chest. It hurts so much every time I hear Micah’s voice. I hate that I’m always imagining his voice, it’s like a cruel taunt, but I can’t stop it no matter how hard I try.
‘Lylah,’ I hear the whisper again.
‘Stop! Please, stop,’ I say, falling to my knees and gripping my hair.
I hear a knock and look towards my door and know no one is ever awake at this time. I wipe the tears from my face, walk over, and wait a few moments. Then, taking a deep breath, I slowly open the door. There is no one there. As I’m about to close it, I hear it again.
‘Lylah.’
‘M-Micah?’ I say, stepping out into the corridor.
A shadow going down the stairwell gets my attention. I chase after it and race down the stairs. My heart beats erratically as I look frantically in all directions to see where it has gone.
‘Lylah,’ I hear whispered to my left.
I follow the voice towards the grand hall. As I enter, soft instrumental music plays, but there are no musicians. I look around and pause in the centre of the hall. A chill runs down my back. I turn and gasp when I see the apparition of Micah smiling at me. He holds his hand out, and I take it. I’m pulled towards him and whirled around to the music. I smile and cry with happiness as we dance and gaze into each other's eyes. I feel the spark in my heart reigniting and hope and happiness for the first time since Micah died. We waltz throughout the hall, the music becomes louder, and our dancing becomes faster. My eyes don’t leave Micah’s, not even for a second. As the music slows down and ends, so does our dancing. Our lips come closer, and as they are about to touch, Micah begins to vanish.
‘I love you,’ is the last faint whisper I hear from him before I can no longer see him.
‘No, no, no, no! Micah, don’t go, please don’t go! I need you! Please!’ I beg.
I spin and turn, looking around the hall for him and run through the corridor. There is no sign of him. I sit in the stairwell, hug my knees and cry for a while before walking up the steps and returning to my room. I lay on my bed, turn on my side, and stare out the terrace into the night sky.
My heart feels like it’s shattering all over again. I feel so broken, so lost without Micah. I remove myself from the bed, enter the terrace, and stare at Micah’s grave.
‘Tamara and Vicky are right. It’s my fault Micah died. It’s my fault. If I had my wolf or magic, I could have saved him. It should’ve been me who died. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be with Micah,’ I cry.
I steel myself, realising that there is a way I can be with Micah. The sun will be rising soon. I need to do this before everyone wakes. So, I climb down my balcony, sit on Micah’s grave with my back against his tombstone, and hold the dagger against my wrist. My hand trembles as I push the dagger down harder and watch the line of blood appear. I then take the dagger from my other hand and cut my other wrist. Finally, I drop the dagger and slump down. I’m lying on Micah’s grave and close my eyes. I smile, knowing I’ll now be free of this nightmare and be with Micah again.
‘I will be with you soon, my love,’ I whisper and drift off to sleep.
***
I’m having the most beautiful dream. My head rests on Micah’s lap, and we are in a field of flowers. I hum as Micah caresses my cheek. It’s so peaceful. Little bluebirds fly over us, and the sunshine warms our skin.
‘I love you so much, Lylah,’ Micah says, smiling at me.
‘I love you too,’ I smile.
Suddenly, the world begins to disappear. The green grass and the flowers shrivel up and die. The trees in the distance begin to sink.
I sit up, ‘Micah, what’s happening?’ I say, looking around and becoming distressed. He doesn’t reply. I turn to look at him, but all I see is darkness and those red eyes. In a flash, everything vanishes. I sit up and scream. I look around, breathing heavily. I’m in the apothecary: Mother, Father, Kayla, and my brothers. Everyone is here surrounding me. They are all crying and gasp in relief as I sit up and scream. ‘Micah! Where is he?’ I say, frantically looking for him. Everyone looks away or at their feet. I look down at the healed cuts on my wrist, which are now scars.
‘No! What did you do? Why did you bring me back? Why did you take me away from Micah?’ I shout.
‘Lylah,’ My mother cries, ‘Your father found you on Micah’s grave and rushed you here. You’re my daughter, Lylah. I had to heal you. We had to save you. You may not be able to live without Micah, but we could never live without you,’ she cries.
I flinch at her words. I’m angry that they healed me and brought me back, but I’m also upset at myself for putting them through this. The pain I feel from losing Micah is a pain I just inflicted on my family.
I move forward and off the table. My Father and brothers move aside to let me through.
‘I’m going to my room. I want to be alone,’ I say.
A firm hand lands on my shoulder and tightens. I turn my head and see the weariness that has formed under my father’s eyes. It’s the first time I have seen my father with such a look.
‘No! This is going to stop right now, Lylah. No more being alone, no more locking yourself in your room and never will you ever attempt something like this again. Do you hear me?’
I can hear the pain in his voice. He doesn’t even try and hide it. His eyes are pleading with me. I burst into tears and hug him.
‘I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry,’ I say, crying into his chest. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.